Southend U3A

Writing for Fun

'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
No creature was stirring
Except Vera's spouse.

He crept down the hallway.
He tiptoed downstairs
Into the kitchen
And slumped on a chair.

A man of few words
Was Vera's old man.
His full name was Stanley
But answered to Stan.

He sat there with deep thoughts
Churning round in his head.
While Vera was sleeping
Upstairs in their bed.

Each year was the same thing
Since he was a lad.
Would the gift he had chosen
Make his Vera glad?

And this year was no different
Or so it seems.
He hoped he had ordered
The gift of her dreams.

But now was the eve
Of Christmas Day night
And her main Xmas present
Was nowhere in sight!

From kitchen to window
He wandered forlorn
Wishing over and over
That he'd never been born.

The snow it was falling
And drifting once more.
Heaping and piling
Against his front door.

Oh, why had he trusted
To Amazon Prime?
Oh, why was the phone line
Engaged all the time?

Just then in the distance
The sound of a bell
Interrupted poor Stanley'
Own personal hell.

A man dressed in green
Jumped out of a van.
And joy of the season
Had a box in his hand.

Up Stan's snowy pathway
He carried his stock.
Stan opened the door
Before he could knock.

‘Hello Sir, I'm Elfred
Your order I've brought.
The label was damaged
So your address I have sought

For hours and hours
Fearing I might not succeed.
Then I noticed your light
Which gave me a lead.’

Being so grateful
Stan nearly cried.
He grabbed the large parcel
And took it inside.

He shook Elfred's hand
And waved him away
Making it known
He had saved Christmas Day.

He promised the best
Of reviews ever seen.
Filled with words like 'amazing',
'stupendous', 'supreme'!

He opened the box
With the greatest relief
Placing the present
The lit tree beneath.

Then creeping with stealth
He climbed up the stair
To make sure dear Vera
Was left unaware

Of all of the hustle
And bustle below.
He thought it was best
That Vera won't know.

But just as his head
On the pillow was laid
A niggling worry on his
Thoughts gently played.

What if the box
Wasn't his all along?
What if the contents
When opened were wrong?

But shaking his head
These thoughts he dismissed.
Turned over in bed,
Crossed his fingers and wished.

Next morn saw a sparkling
New Christmas Day.
That greeted the couple
As they made their way

Down to the living room
To sit by the tree.
His present he gave her
Said, ‘This is from me.’

Then just as she started
unwrapping the box
The door shook with loud
And continuous knocks.

‘Hello,’ came a voice
From outside the door.
Stan recognised Elfred
From the night before.

‘Please don't open the box.
It was a mistake.
Its contents will not
A great Christmas Day make!’

Too late Stan turned
And saw Vera's grimace.
Then felt something slimy
Hit him full in the face!

The moral at Christmas
Is do your own shop.
Please don't trust Amazon
The right parcel to drop!

'Twas the day after Christmas
And all through the house
The silence was deafening.
Stanley's in the dog house!