Writing for Fun
August 2019
The Loser - Bob Wendelkin
Holden considered himself to be one of the earth’s great losers. Practically everything he put his hand to seemed to fail. He knew that he was part of that unfortunate group of losers of this world. Then her saw her, as the song goes, across a crowded room. She was what he thought to be one of the most beautiful creatures he has ever seen. She stood there in a figure hugging black dress, around her neck she was wearing a sparking choker necklace, her hair was Titian in colour and it framed her face and hung down to her shoulders. In her hand was an empty wine glass; as she wasn’t talking to any one he wondered if he should pluck up enough courage to go over to her and offer to get her glass refilled. He felt certain that someone was probably all ready getting her a refill and she was just waiting for him but no one came to her. Thinking to himself, if he went up to her to offer to get her a fresh glass, the worst she could say to him was P### off you creep.
‘I saw you standing with an empty glass, may I get you another?’ he said as he approached her.
‘That is very kind of you, I only want a fruit juice as I have already had a couple of glasses of wine and I have to drive my car home,’ replied Carissa as she handed Holden her empty glass.
‘Are you waiting for anyone?’
‘No I was invited by our host and I came alone hoping to meet someone interesting,’ replied Carissa with a gentle smile that swiftly crossed her face.
‘You have a very interesting accent where do you come from?’ he asked still with her empty glass in his hand.
‘I originate from South Africa. I came to England as the opportunities for White people in South Africa have become less and less as inverted racism takes over. So I came here to try my best,’ was her reply.
‘I’m sorry you had to leave your home but I’m pleased you have come here tonight.’ said Holden with a great smile on his face that didn’t show his teeth off to any advantage.
‘What do you do for a living? she asked.
‘Oh I’m between jobs at the moment as I had a difference of opinion with my cretin of a boss. He thought he knew best when it was obvious that his decision was stupid and I told him so, so he sacked me. As it happened when I found out later he did what I said and it worked out very well but I wasn’t there to take any of the credit that he enjoyed. That seems to be the pattern of my life I always seem to be on the losing end. Otherwise I earned a great deal working in Insurance,’ replied Holden. ‘What do you do?’
‘Oh, I haven’t been trained for anything; I’m thinking of going back to college and take a course on Dentistry or perhaps I’ll train as a nurse, then I might catch me a Doctor for a husband,’ she said as she remembered looking at Holden’s teeth.
‘I’m envious of you as I have often thought that if I had my time over again I would loved to have been a Dentist, well it’s better to look at that end of the Alimentary Canal rather than the other end,’ he said jokingly.
She didn’t laugh, as she didn’t really understand his joke, or was she tiring of his company particularly as he was unemployed at the moment.
‘You have enough funds to support you through college then?’ asked Holden with more serious look on his face.
‘Oh I have enough to start with and my family will give me some support and I have a scheme to get enough to support me while I study,’ she replied with a devious look in her eyes.
‘If you want some bloke to support you, you should chat up Matt over there. He’s a millionaire,’ said Holden knowing that Matt had just been made bankrupt with the failure of his latest effort to become a Millionaire.
Matt was one of those people who, like the Trotters in Fool and Horses, are always trying but never quite succeeding. Although in their last episode on TV, with the script writer’s help, the Trotters did become millionaires.
The couple chatted on for sometime with Holden still with her empty glass in his hand. He noticed that every so often she would make a glance in Matt’s direction.
‘I must go and get you a refill for your glass as I promised before we started to talk so intently,’ said Holden as he up-ended her glass to show that it was empty.
Holden giving her a smile as he left her to go to the bar to get her a refill. There was a few people at the bar getting their drinks eventually Holden was able to get her refill. He then made his way back to where she had been standing. He could see that she once more had a drink in her hand and she was talking to Matt with a very flirty look on her face as she gave Matt all of her attractive charm.
Holden just stood there holding two glasses both of wine as he hoped that if she had a little more wine to drink she might just be a little more flirty with him.
‘That’s typical of my life, I meet some gorgeous girl and she is taken from me. I guess I just have to accept that in life I’m one of nature’s losers,’ said Holden to himself under his breath.
As he stood there one of his friends came up to him.
‘I see you were chatting up Carissa; she’s a nice girl if you can afford her,’ said John, one of Holden’s friends.
‘I thought I was on to a good thing with her, then I suggested that Matt was a millionaire, when I came back with her drink she was chatting to Matt,’ said Holden.
‘I know Carissa’s reputation and you may think you are a loser but with her you would have been the real loser. With Matt I think this time she will be the real loser if she thinks he has got any money,’ said John.
Holden standing there, gave one of the glasses of wine to John and both of them took a sip and both started to laugh as they looked across the room to where Matt and Carissa were laughing together. Matt, because he was talking to a beautiful young girl and Carissa, because she thought she was talking to a millionaire.
‘Here’s to the losers of this world,’ said John and Holden as they downed the glasses of wine.