Writing for Fun
October 2018
The Dinner Party - Sue Barker
Why did they keep putting themselves through this? Hermione thought; ever since she started dating James they kept going through this ritual every month. Mione, as she was known to her friends, was an outgoing young career woman who often spoke her mind but for some unfathomable reason she couldn’t find the words whenever they went round to Sally and Jake’s.
It might be because James had been their friend since university and Mione had only known them two years but every month without fail they had to go and endure Sally’s God awful cooking. Sometimes Mione wondered if she had something wrong with her taste buds, the other three people round the table wolfed down their food, while Mione was trying to make it look like she’d eaten something.
Sally was a really lovely girl, blonde, bubbly and bouncy, curves in all the right places. Mione on the other hand was tall, gamin and angular, chalk and cheese, which according to Mione was what dinner often tasted like. Apart from eating Sally’s terrible food, they got on reasonably well considering they didn’t have much in common.
Hermione smiled to herself, nobody at work would believe that the head of Human Resources for a successful pharmaceutical company, in charge of 30 people, couldn’t work out how to extricate herself from this situation.
In the early days she had tried tactfully to ask James if for a change they could go out for dinner or get a takeaway. But James reminded her that as Sally and Jake had twin 3 year olds it was out of the question, the cost of babysitters or a takeaway was too expensive. Even offering to pay for the takeaway herself fell on deaf ears. So here they were again.
Sally came in and presented the offering with a little grin. ‘I’ve tried something different tonight, I’ve had such fun experimenting in the kitchen, I hope you enjoy it.’ Mione sadly looked at her plate; initially she couldn’t quite identify what was on it. Surely anything grey glutinous lump couldn’t be classed as food, she mused. Then she prodded it tentatively with her fork, it was sloppy, what the hell is it? She tentatively took a tiny taste. It was vile; the texture alone made her stomach revolt. She looked round the table she had made a fatal error; no-one else had tried theirs.
James also looked puzzled. Eventually to break the awkward silence James said, ‘Ok Sal, you’ve beaten us this time, what is this delicacy?’ Mione couldn’t believe her ears – delicacy? I wouldn’t feed this to a pig she thought grumpily.
Sally chuckled, ‘I’ve been watching some interesting things on the Internet and realised that we do not use offal nearly enough in our diet. So this is boiled tripe on a bed of boiled spinach with a side dish of mashed turnip, I’ve never tried it before but I know you love my little experiments.
With that Mione rushed from the table to the bathroom, her stomach churning and she was violently sick. After washing her face and trying to calm herself down she finally returned to the table. James gave her a sympathetic look. Mione said she was very sorry but she would have to go home as she felt very unwell. Sally and Jake saw them out; Sally’s last words were, ‘I hope you haven’t picked up a bug at work.’
‘Unbelievable,’ Mione muttered under her breath, thinking to herself, it’s your awful cooking that’s done this to me.
In the car going home Mione was very quiet, James was too, both deep in their own thoughts. Finally they arrived home. Indoors James put the lights on and said, ‘We will have to come up with an excuse next month. While you were in the bathroom being sick Sally mentioned she knew someone who was experimenting cooking with road kill.’