Writing for Fun
January 2018
Not What It Seems - Anna Browning
The car swung into the driveway and came to a stop. Alice fumbled for her keys in her coat pocket, but to no avail, no keys met her fingers. She proceeded to search inside her handbag, but again with no success. Harry looked round at her impatiently, 'Well come on, Alice stop fumbling and give me the keys.'
She stopped searching and looked at him anxiously. 'I can't find them, Harry, can you check if you brought yours?' He searched his own pockets but no keys turned up. They then searched the car, checking all the compartments, shelves and pockets, including the floor.
'How can you be so careless Alice. I cannot believe you left them indoors.'
'You can talk, you are just as bad not bringing your keys with you. What are we going to do now? We haven't given any of our neighbours our spare keys.' They sat there thinking hard. It was very late and most people were in bed fast asleep. Their house was also like Fort Knox. The side gates were padlocked and framed by thorny climbing roses, so they couldn't climb over. They didn't want to call a Locksmith out that time of night because of the expense. There was no one they could ask for help, unless they called the fire brigade. The neighbours either side were away. They continued to sit there helplessly racking their brains.
Harry suddenly had an idea, 'You know what we could do is to go down next door's side path and climb over the fence. Perhaps we can force the back door open. Or we can get the ladder out of the shed and break through one of the windows.'
They got out of the car into the pouring rain and looked around in the dark. The street was deserted. Harry walked quietly towards next doors driveway and pushed open the unlocked side gate, with Alice following behind. They rushed down the path into the back garden. Harry started to examine the fence separating the two gardens. He was searching for any weak spots and found there were a couple of loose panels that he managed to prise open and pull out. The gap was just large enough to climb through.
By now they were drenched. Their clothes were soaked through. Their wet hair was clinging to their scalps, the water dripping down their faces and necks. They looked like two dejected drowned rats. 'Right let's get the ladder out of the shed. Harry walked across what had once been a perfect, immaculate lawn. His pride and joy had now become a huge lake. He waded through it, his shoes filling up with water. What an end to a great day. He was now reduced to breaking into his own house.
He carried on walking wearily towards the shed. He forced the shed door open with his shoulder and peered into the dark interior. His eyes adjusting to the darkness trying to locate his ladder. He finally saw it leaning crookedly against the back wall. He dragged it out, staggering under its weight towards the house. 'Alice for goodness sake come over and help me lift it instead of standing there like a dummy.' Alice moved over reluctantly, moaning with exaggeration as her shoulders bent down to lift the ladder. They leant it against the house wall, looking up to see what they could do to get in. The windows were brand new and had only just been fitted. The back door looked strong and impenetrable.
Harry searched round for something to break a window and found an old brick in one of the flower beds. He thought he would stand a better chance of getting in through the hall window. He climbed gingerly up the ladder in the pouring rain. 'Alice come over and hold the ladder for me to stop it swaying.' Just as he uttered those words, his foot caught one of the rungs and he found himself slipping down the ladder collapsing in a heap into a puddle. He yelped in pain. He had twisted his ankle. Alice started laughing hysterically. 'You stupid woman, couldn't you try and be a bit helpful instead of standing there like a dummy and taking the mickey out of me?'
He shouted at her, but Alice continued to laugh unable to stop her hysteria, 'Don't blame me for your clumsiness,' she gasped, trying to calm down.
In frustration Alice suddenly grabbed the brick and flung it at the kitchen window, watching it smash through the glass with a loud crash. The loud noise echoed loudly through the garden. A light come on in one of the neighbouring houses bordering the end of their garden. The curtains pulled back as a face looked down at them. Harry and Alice looked up anxiously, but they continued with their task of forcing their way in.
Alice carefully removed some of the jagged broken panes of glass to make room to climb in. She then hauled herself up onto the windowsill by standing on one of the large flower pots. She carefully pushed herself through the opening, avoiding the remnants of cracked glass. Good job she had kept up going to Pilates. Her body was in tiptop condition, unlike Harry who only walked the dog around the block. His belly bulging over his trouser belt, no doubt due to a diet of burgers and chips. Still they had achieved their goal. Alice opened the back door to let Harry in. He limped in wearily, longing for a hot bath and a cup of tea.
Alice removed her coat off her tired body when she heard a clink. She looked down and there on the floor were the blasted keys staring back at her. She examined her coat and saw the lining had a tear next to the pocket. Oh dear! They just stared at each other in misery, unable to speak. The next minute the back door crashed open as several policemen strode in and grabbed hold of them. With tears rolling down Alice's face she screamed, 'Stop, this is not what it seems, you're mistaken, we are not burglars, we are the owners.'
'Yes and we are the super heroes, don't try and pull the wool over our eyes.' They were both handcuffed and led away out of the house into the awaiting police cars, too stunned to protest any further.