Writing for Fun
March 2017
More Than My Job's Worth - Sue Barker
Most people dreaded Monday morning, because it meant the start of the working week. But that didn't apply to James Chip, not one bit. He certainly preferred it to being at home. He slipped out of the front door of his house before May could shout out her never ending demands. Luckily she hadn't heard him leave.
You could say he lived for his job, his home life was unhappy, he was henpecked and bullied by May his wife of 27 years, she belittled him at every opportunity; it was excruciatingly embarrassing. He had long given up any friendships as he felt emasculated and small when May began her never ending tirades. He could no longer endure the pity he saw in his friends eyes. For his own self preservation he cut all ties and just counted the hours from 5 o'clock Friday until 9 am on Monday when he began work and was out of May's clutches. The satisfaction he derived from carrying out his duties was the only balm to his shattered nerves.
He absolutely loved his job, he felt powerful and smart in his uniform, he thought it improved his stature, somehow he held himself better, he felt taller and he believed that he was someone making a difference in the community.
He couldn't believe that they had trouble recruiting traffic wardens, it was a great job. He arrived at the local authority where he was allocated his round and he set off, it was a different area every day, he knew he was unpopular but being a parking attendant gave him the status and authority he lacked in his personal life. He had been issued a warning once for over zealousness but that didn't discourage James. Officially Local Authority parking attendants were meant to be used as a deterrent but James knew his manager was pleased if he surpassed the targets and more revenue was raised.
He arrived at the library car park and he smiled to himself as he saw a young harassed mother searching in vain for change to pay for her parking ticket; she spotted Jim and asked him if it was okay to pop to the nearest shop to make a purchase to get some change for the parking. Jim assured her it was fine, so off she ran, he immediately issued a fixed penalty ticket, well it was her word over his, who would believe her? He patrolled the car park, his hands itching to write another ticket but he knew he had to be careful, if you issued too many tickets just after the expiry time the office would start monitoring you, so patiently he waited. Great, he saw a business man running towards the traffic lights, Jim had seen him purchase a 30 minute ticket, with luck on Jim's side he would be late by at least five minutes, Jim speeded up and yes, he was right, the man was late, he quickly started to write the offence notice; when the man arrived at the car puffing and panting, Jim feigned surprise and explained that once he'd started writing he had to complete the fine there was nothing he could do, much as he'd like to. Inside Jim felt like a giant, he knew he had the power to ruin people's days but he also knew his face couldn't betray how much he enjoyed doing so.
The office had received complaints about him, but this was just par for the course in his line of work. He knew several times he had been investigated but had managed to talk his way out of it. He knew he was given a bit of leeway as he was very often the top issuing officer, which looked good for his manager.
Friday he had been called into see his manager and Jim thought as usual he could blag his way out of the situation. But this time was different; he had to admit that on Thursday he had issued a parking fine to an ambulance on double yellow lines, it was outside a private residence; deep down he knew that he had probably pushed his luck too far. That was the occasion he was given a warning, it was the same day May had been so vicious to him just before set off for work, he realised it was May he wanted to hit out at not the ambulance driver. He had better be more careful in future; he could not risk losing this job.
Another time he had been called in over another complaint. He asked how was he supposed to know that the Securicor van was actually manned and not just parked outside the bank, and he disputed that the blue light was flashing, which indicated someone was inside the van. He hadn't been believed and that ticket had been quashed, much to Jim's disappointment.
But today was the highlight of his career, after he had his lunch he had been sent off to the car park along the seafront. It was always busy and provided rich pickings as many motorists overstayed their time.
Jim spied a car he recognised; yes it was definitely his wife's yellow fiat. He bobbed down behind a bush and watched as May trotted off in her heels, head held high and the same hard faced expression on her face he witnessed every sad day of his life. God she's one miserable looking cow, he thought.
The Jim felt the adrenalin rush begin to rise as he realised that she hadn't purchased a parking ticket; could he be that fortunate? He waited five minutes and then another five; no she wasn't coming back. Jim squeezed between the cars and was suddenly in front of the yellow fiat; without a second thought he'd done it; he had only bloody issued her with a parking ticket. The joy he felt was beyond comparison; he was omnipotent, he felt like a god. May knew that she ruled the house, but he ruled the streets and this will prove it.
Later that day Jim returned to 45 Station Road, no surprise that there wasn't a smell of cooking; he walked in and saw a very tight lipped May, she was tapping her newly painted red nails; tap, tap, tap it went; Jim knew she was livid . On the kitchen table before her was the parking ticket. She tried to contain her temper but as usual she was strident in her berating of her pathetic husband. Who did he think he was for god sake? Just some jumped up little pratt. She demanded that when he went to work the next day he was to cancel the ticket.
Jim suppressed his glee and keeping his face as straight as he could calmly and politely explained that he couldn't go to his manager to get his own wife's ticket cancelled; it was more than his job's worth.
Of course he may have won the battle but May would win the war; but it was a very small victory, a very sweet victory indeed.