Writing for Fun
March 2017
The Snaring of Mr Lovejoy - Maureen Rampersaud
Mr. Lovejoy, I must get these butterfly mobiles attached to the ceiling before the inspection, will you fetch the big ladders and help me please?'
I had my pleading and helpless face on, in an effort to move the miserable school caretaker.
'Are you mad, Miss Gough? . . . With my back?'
I dragged the enormous ladders into my classroom. He was always the same, neither lovely nor joyful, Mr. Lovejoy skulked in the boiler room when there was a whiff of work to be done. I was about to take my life into my hands and ascend the scary ladders with Portia Pendry-Brown's mobile in one hand and the drawing pins in the other, when I stopped short. Ruby Hart's window was just across from mine. There she was, all short skirt and cleavage, smiling sweetly at Mr. Lovejoy as he stood on her desk, stapling her backing paper up.
With steam coming out of my ears, I charged round there.
'Oh, Mr. Lovejoy, you are so strong! Shall I hold onto your legs? I don't want you to fall.'
'I think that would be wise, Miss Hart, thank-you,' he simpered.
I whipped out my 'phone, took a few snaps and crept away. Perusing them later, I noticed one looked particularly compromising. From that angle, she looked very close to Mr. Lovejoy and what was going on was definitely open to question.
The next day, I showed him the photo.
'Looks like your back's a lot better!'
He blanched, his mouth opened and closed like a goldfish. I pressed home my advantage, 'Do you think our esteemed head teacher would find this amusing?'
His eyebrows shot up in alarm. I went in for the kill,
'Maybe not. Well, I've got the ladders ready for you, Mr. Lovejoy'.