Writing for Fun
March 2017
Job's Worth - Diane Silverston
‘Surely you can see how silly it is?’
‘Perhaps madam, but that is what it says.’
‘But it doesn’t make any sense.’
‘Perhaps not madam, but that is what the board says.’
‘Are you telling me that what the board states cannot be changed or amended?’
‘Certainly not madam. It has been planned and printed.’
‘And no way can a verbal change be made?’
‘No certainly not. I’m not in a position to do that! It would be more than my job’s worth.’
‘I still don’t understand why it would be so difficult. I’m not asking for anything out of the ordinary.’
‘But madam it doesn’t say you can have it on the board.’
‘Perhaps I could speak to the chef or manager?’
‘Madam the chef is far too busy cooking for the restaurant, and I’m today’s bar manager.’
‘All the more reason you could make the change I want.’
‘But madam if you look carefully at the board you will see what we have on offer and what we don’t.’
‘I can clearly see what you have but I still don’t understand why I can’t have a ham sandwich on white bread, but I can have a ham toastie on white bread! Surely you could make me a ham sandwich rather than a toastie? That must be obvious to you.’
‘No madam nowhere on the board does it say we do ham sandwich, only that we do ham toasties.’
‘Okay then, the board states that I can have a cheese sandwich but doesn’t say I can have a cheese toastie. Sol assume I can’t have a cheese toastie?’
‘Of course you can madam, we just toast the cheese sandwich.’
‘Exactly in that case I’ll have a ham toastie on white bread, but please don’t toast it.’
‘Certainly madam. Anything to drink?’
‘A medium . . . dry red wine please.’
‘Medium dry . . . red wine?’
Oh, No!
‘No a medium sized glass of dry red wine please.’
‘Certainly madam, I hope you enjoy it.’
Unbelievable!