Writing for Fun
December 2016
High Voltage - Maureen Rampersaud
One of the strangest experiences of my early life . . . I think I was ten . . . was when I caught my mother, glued to the screen, watching a group called ‘Electric Six’, singing a weird song ‘Danger! High Voltage’. There was a Gothic style man and woman singing to each other about high voltage happening when they kissed, but the most disturbing thing about it was that their private parts lit up like a Christmas tree when their lips touched. I think the spectacle scarred me for life. Mum switched it off sharpish when she noticed me and looked suitably embarrassed. I asked for an explanation . . . Would this happen to me if I kissed a boy? Needless to say, I received no satisfactory answer.
My first boyfriend was Richard Trollope, otherwise known as ‘Trolley’. I was thirteen and he was a friend of my mate Mary’s boyfriend, so it was convenient. We sat on the grassy slope near the railway lines and practiced kissing as we had no idea what to talk about. My lips were so sore that it nearly put me off for life . . . well . . . that and the fact that I couldn’t help looking down to make sure nothing was lighting up.
When I got home, boy, was I in trouble! I’d told Mum that I was at Mary’s, but my evil older sister was on the train home from work in London when, unfortunately, she saw Trolley and me, out of the window. Never knowingly benevolent, she grassed me up. I was grounded for a fortnight, which gave me time to reflect.
I wasn’t ready for romance, it was boring and I would rather have fun with the gang. However, the experience did give me my favourite line. When anyone asked what happened to Trolley, I replied, ‘Well . . . I gave him the push.’