Writing for Fun
October 2016
Happy Families! - Reg Pound
‘As you know, I was William’s closest friend. We were at school together and later served in the same Regiment during National Service. Although, in recent years we did not see much of each other, as each of us was a little less mobile than in our younger days and he living in London and I moving to the West Country.’
‘Come on Mr. Jones, get on with it. What did the will say?’ Niece Sharon was getting impatient. ‘Shush,’ said her mother, William’s sister.
‘As I was saying, as his oldest friend, he asked that I be Executor of the Will and upon his death to bring you all together and read this, his Last Will and Testament.’ They were seated in the late William Stone’s council flat. His sisters, Mary and Doreen, their husbands Joe and George, his brother Charles and their children, Sharon, Elvis, Scott and Gail.
‘I have checked with the Citizens Advice Bureau and they confirm that the Will is perfectly legal, even though not well written so here goes.’
‘I, William Stone, leave such furniture, bric-a-brac, clothing and household items to the Salvation Army. After paying funeral expenses, to sister Mary I leave £12,000, to sister Doreen £10,000, to brother George £8,000, to nephew Scott £5,000, to nephew Elvis £2,000, to niece Sharon £1,000 and to niece Gail £1,500. The residue, if any, I leave to my dear friend, Albert Jones.’
As this was being read out a great argument commenced. Everyone talking at once. ‘I didn’t know he had all that money.’
‘Why did he leave more to you than me?’
‘He never did like me, the miserable old sod,’ was Sharon’s comment.
The rest of the comments were lost in a confusion of noisy shouting and complaints. Albert Jones, the Executor, felt under siege.
‘Shut up,’ he shouted. Stunned silence replaced the din.
‘I must tell you when William made the Will he had precisely £1,524 in cash and bonds – just enough to pay for the funeral. He never expected to have the sort of money to pay the legacies I have just read out.
‘He used to laugh at the thought of seeing your faces when you found he was virtually penniless. He never forgave any of you for the unkind way you treated him and his late wife when they needed your support during her illness, saying you were a family of parasites.’
‘Right then, there’s no point in hanging around here,’ said George and Doreen in unison.
‘I wish I had not wasted so much money on a wreath,’ moaned Mary.
‘One moment please before you go,’ Albert interrupted. ‘A week before he died one of William’s premium bonds won £100,000 so the amounts mentioned in the will can be paid.’
United the family thought about it and turned on Albert. ‘Why should you get more than the rest of us - we shall contest the Will.’
Albert smiled to himself. When would he tell them he’d made the last bit up?