Writing for Fun
March 2016
Rock Cakes - Reg Pound
Rub fat into the flour, salt and spices. I'd done that. Next, stir in rind, sugar, fruit and peel. OK. So far so good.
What was annoying was that, as an Engineer, I was used to exact measurements. The recipe given by my wife gave vague amounts such as a 'cupful' of this, a 'spoonful' of that, or a 'pinch' of another. But I wasn't to be beaten, I'd use my own judgement rather than admit I needed help.
Make a well in the centre of the mixture, pour in egg and milk and stir with enough milk to give a stiff dough . . . how stiff is 'stiff'? Now spoon the result in small . . . how big is 'small'? dollops on the baking tray. He had nearly forgotten to grease that – then pop the tray into the oven.
He was making these cakes at the behest of Julie, his wife, to enter in the 'Men Only' section of their forthcoming local Horticultural and Homecraft Show. The classification for his entry was 'a cake of your choice' and she thought I couldn't go far wrong with rock cakes. I told her that I reckoned most other male entries would be cooked by their wives, but she insisted mine should be a genuine product.
The morning of the show arrived and we delivered two of the six I had made to the show hail for display and judging. I chose the best looking two, but Julie would not try one for herself or allow me to, as she said, quite rightly, that had I not liked them I would chicken out and withdraw my entry.
Each entry has a little card with the class written on the front and the entrant's name on the back. The judges stick a 1st 2nd or 3rd label on the winner's card and sometimes make some comment, usually encouraging, on the back, for the non prize winners. The competitors do not know the result until the show opens to them and the public in the afternoon.
Julie, and I entered the hall, the floral displays were on the left and homecraft to the right. 'Let's look at yours first,' she said, 'and see how you have done.'
'Plenty of time for that,' I replied. 'Let's see yours first.'
Being taller than Julie I could see from the door that there was no prize sticker on my entry card.
We visited Julie's entries and found that she had gained one first, two seconds and two thirds for her various floral entries.
Time then to look at mine.
As we approached the cakes table I could see that I was the only one entering rock cakes. Most of the others had entered fancy cup cakes, which were the current fashion. Also all the cakes but mine had had small pieces cut from them, no doubt for the judges to taste. Had they overlooked mine? I turned my card over, no, they had judged mine and made a comment. 'These rock cakes are of excellent appearance, however we suggest you revise your recipe. If these two cakes are part of a batch we suggest you advise your chosen consumer to 'take their pick.'