Writing for Fun
Monte Carlo - Sue Barker
September 2014
I've just sat down after an exhausting day; I look around my lounge with the family photo's and smile to myself. I've just poured myself a big glass of shiraz and my mind just drifts back to the events of today. I don't know how long it will take me to realise that I am free, after 35 years as a social worker I have finally retired. I am going to give a brief outline of my career so you can understand why one lad came to mean so much to me.
When I started training I, like most social workers, had such passion, I wanted to help and make a difference where I could. It was a very different world then, it was called Social Services not one of the new names used such as the Department of People. Most of my colleagues thought the constant change of name was so the service users didn't realise it was Social Services calling round.
We were mostly thought of as busy bodies but we managed to work with a lot of people and there was a reasonable amount of job satisfaction. You managed around fifteen cases and could monitor their needs quite well. The nature of the job means that often you kept the cases open for years, with no conclusion.
Now the case load is horrendous, maybe double or treble that number, you cannot hold onto cases long time, they get banked, basically filed away until the next action is needed, and it goes to any social worker, so many fingers in the same pie. It is no wonder the service fails people. It's not something anyone wants, it's just a very sad fact.
Social work has always had a difficult role to fill but in the last ten years, with some thanks to the newspapers and the soaps, we are vilified; the public perception is that we are only here to take children away from their families and put 'old people in homes.' Sadly there have been some terrible cases of failure, everybody has heard of Victoria Climbie and Baby P. We all realise it is impossible to step in and save every child but these were our failings and we need to learn by them. I am glad I no longer have to take this to heart personally, and hopefully I can now get a decent night's sleep, instead of whiling away hours constantly worrying.
Now onto Jonjo; he was a thirteen year old boy who just didn't seem to fit in anywhere. His mum was only fourteen when she had him and just couldn't cope. She came backwards and forwards into his life, usually between relationships, either with men or the bottle, it didn't matter which, both were corrosive in their own way.
I remember I had just placed him with his sixth foster family; at this time Jonjo had no friends, well how could he, moving so often from family to family. He was small for his age, his eyes were ferret-like and he had spots; misery oozed out of him, not someone who would find making friends easy. If only someone, anyone, could take the trouble to talk to this lad they would find a thoughtful boy with a lot to say. He was one of life's observers, not much got passed him, and on the very rare occasion his wonderful sense of humour would burst out of him.
I spent many hours working on care plans and trying to settle him somewhere. The problem was he was so hurt he couldn't open up or trust anyone. We had a challenging relationship but sadly, I was the only constant person in his life. We'd worked together since he had been placed in care. His mother managed to keep him until he was two, but then she wanted a life, she was only sixteen by then and was so stressed she couldn't cope.
Well at thirteen, Jonjo was at a junction in his life, if I couldn't place him permanently anywhere he would probably run away and disappear altogether. I have had many a journey finding him after he ran away. The police would contact us, and off I'd go again. This in reality was his last chance, and I wasn't confident it would work, sometimes I wondered if he had a self destruct button.
But I felt this foster family were a good match, they just had to be. The man Bill, was no pushover, he owned the Monte Carlo amusement arcade along the seafront, he'd had a hard childhood himself, so he could relate to Jonjo. The woman, Cassie, was kindness itself, she had patience in buckets, and I thought she'd probably need it with Jonjo. This was not their first foster placement; they had fostered thirty children long and short term over the last ten years. They didn't have any children of their own but were very good with all ages, especially teens, I was too scared to harbour too many hopes but on paper this sounded very promising.
Well the first week was okayish, Jonjo was his usual morose self, a bit mouthy at times, but no-one needed any input from me. Week two was a little more difficult because Jonjo got on the wrong side of a lad at school; being small he was often bullied, and this started again. So in true Jonjo style he ran away from school. This happened for two more weeks, with me returning him each time. Deep down I think he wanted this fostering to work but the shell round him was hard to penetrate.
We had a four week review and Bill said they wanted to take it from here, he and Cassie had had a long talk and decided the only way Jonjo would settle in was if he felt really like part of the family, which meant that they would contact the school. If I was needed they would contact me; we agreed to another review in four weeks if I hadn't heard any more from them.
At the next review Jonjo had run away from school once more but Bill was impressive, he found Jonjo and went to the school with him to discuss what the school was going to do for Jonjo. The Head teacher assured them they had an anti-bullying scheme in place, to which Bill pointed out they hadn't done much for Jonjo so far and that he expected support for him. Bill told the Head teacher that the Internet showed the school had a mentoring scheme and he wanted Jonjo placed on that, so someone would be keeping an eye on the situation. Jonjo later told me he was amazed, no-one had ever done anything like that for him before, maybe he would let his guard down a little, I really hope so.
It was agreed that if Jonjo continued with school and didn't bunk off again, in a month's time he could help out on a Saturday in the Monte Carlo. I said I would monitor this arrangement as amusement arcades have a reputation for drugs and gangs of youths hanging around. Bill said he was fine with this as he was keen that his amusement arcade was family friendly and he certainly didn't entertain the idea of gangs or drugs.
Finally the Saturday came and Jonjo and Bill went off to the arcade, it was a whole new experience for Jonjo, he was now old enough to work part-time and he had someone who trusted him enough to give him a job. I would love to say it went without a glitch, but this is Jonjo we are talking about. He did get stroppy if something went wrong, he gave the wrong change a couple of times and was rude to the customers. Bill had to talk him down from his temper. Jonjo thought Bill would sack him, Bill laughed and explained everyone has to learn, but you couldn't be rude to the customers, no matter how annoying they were.
I kept in touch with them all for the first year of fostering and was so surprised how well it was going. Jonjo had grown in inches and in character in that year. Gone was the morose boy; he still had spots, but what do you expect he was a teenager. He had become more confident, and due to working in the Monte Carlo his maths had come on in leaps and bounds. Then Bill and Cassie came to me and said they didn't want to foster Jonjo anymore. I felt sick, what was I to do?
They explained that they wanted to adopt him, Bill said he had been just like Jonjo at that age, they had grown to love him like a son. I had to speak to Jonjo first, to see if he wanted this too. When I told him, he grabbed me in a huge bear hug; it was the first time he had ever shown a softer side, the shell had gone. He was ecstatic; he said he'd never hoped that someone would love him enough to want to keep him.
I must confess I cried when I got home, tears of joy, the only ones I ever did in thirty five years. I'm a tough old boot too.
So I sit here now on my own, reflecting on my career and I know if I only got one thing right it was placing Jonjo with that family. I'm proud to have been a social worker but God do I need some fun. My friends have all told me to join a local U3A, well who knows? I just might.