Writing for Fun
To the End of the Rainbow - Bob Wendelkin
August 2014
Scarlett, dressed in her leprechaun costume, landed with her Fairy-Godfather Cato by the side of a small Irish cottage. Outside the cottage sat a farmer with his head in his hands.
'Oh, what am I to do? That Leprechaun has bewitched me farm and all me animals.' cried Farmer O'Rafferty, 'The last time he did this it took days for t'ings to get back to normal.'
He looked up and saw Scarlett and her companions, Cato and Robin, her winged horse, looking at him.
'Oh! Holy mother of God, I'm totally bewitched, what have I done to deserve this. Not only am I being plagued by leprechauns but I now have a little girl and a horse wid wings, whatever am I to do,' continued O'Rafferty.
'What's the matter you seem very upset?' asked Scarlett.
'You would be upset if your farm is bewitched and you are being asked questions by a little girl wid an English accent and dressed as a leprechaun,' replied the farmer.
'Tell me,' said Scarlett in a very consoling manner.
'Well now,' said the farmer, 'last night in der village we had dancing, drinking and everyone had a fine old time. But we didn't ask permission of the local leprechaun, now he's punishing us.'
'How's he doing that?' asked Scarlett
'Are you blind girl, can't you see that everyt'ing on the farm is running backwards,' replied O'Rafferty. 'Just look at me poor old sheep,' pointing to the hillside.
Scarlett saw that the sheep were indeed all walking and running backwards. It did look funny and Scarlett started to laugh.
'It's not funny, girl! I tried to give me poor old dog a bone, and as soon as he tried to run to me to get his bone he ran backwards through the open door, across the farmyard and would have gone across the field backwards if he hadn't gone into the barn and he finished up in the corner in a bale of hay. I followed him and gave him his bone; the look of complete confusion on that dog's face had to be seen to be believed,' retorted O'Rafferty.
Scarlett asked the farmer, 'Why aren't you walking backwards?'
'Damn it! I begs your pardon, I'm walking backwards, but to walk forwards I have to think of walking backwards, then I can walk forwards if you see what I mean,' he replied.
'Why don't you rid yourself of this leprechaun?' asked Scarlett.
'We would if we could, but we need someone to trick him into going elsewhere,' replied O'Rafferty.
'We'll do it for you,' said Scarlett cheerfully, 'and we'll give you his gold.'
'How?' asked O'Rafferty.
'That Mr O'Rafferty is a secret, but we will have to arrange for a rainbow as his gold and home are at the ends of a rainbow,' replied Scarlett darkly.
'I think that we should find a new home for this leprechaun, although we want him out of the way we don't want to hurt him,' said Scarlett.
With that there was an almighty clap of thunder and it started to rain.
After the rain the sun came out and a beautiful rainbow was formed. Scarlett and Cato climbed onto Robin's back.
'To that end of the rainbow,' whispered Scarlett into Robin's ear.
The direction was away from where the leprechaun lived.
The horse took off and they started to fly over land and sea, soon the end of the rainbow was to be found on an Island.
Scarlett said to Cato 'This is a perfect place to put the leprechaun, being an island he will have to stay here as leprechauns can't swim.'
They circled the island and saw that there were a few deserted cottages.
'Go to those cottages,' said Scarlett to Robin.
'Cato I want you to do some of your magic; I want you to make it appear that these houses are occupied. I want lighted windows, smoking chimneys, the gardens to look well kept. I want this hamlet to look very prosperous.'
Cato cast his magic and soon it looked like a very grand place to live.
'That's good Cato. Now take me to a wooded area where leprechauns like to live,' said Scarlett.
Quickly they found a perfect place for a leprechaun.
'We shall put that leprechaun here. Now I want you to create six crocks to hold gold, the sort that leprechauns hide away,' instructed Scarlett.
'Now we must go to the other end of the rainbow and find our quarry,' said Scarlett.
They took off and flew in the direction where they knew that the leprechaun lived.
Arriving at rainbow's end, 'Cato, I want you to remain invisible to him,' whispered Scarlett.
'Be careful as leprechauns can be very tricky,' said Cato.
They crept up to the clearing where the leprechaun was counting his gold and singing about how he had tricked the humans and how their animals are walking backwards.
Scarlett boldly walked into the clearing and said, 'Hello, I'm from the Ministry of Leprechaun Affairs, Health and Safety, Sub-Section Housing. I have come to inspect your location.'
'Never heard of you!' replied the leprechaun.
'Never heard of us? You must have received our letter telling you about the inspection,' replied Scarlett.
'I'm afraid if you don't co-operate the consequences for you will be serious, you could lose all your leprechaun rights,' continued Scarlett.
Scarlett looked around the place where the leprechaun lived, every so often she would shake her head and tut tut.
Turning to the leprechaun she said, 'I'm afraid that this place is not good enough for a Leprechaun of your standing, you will be re-housed in a more suitable location.'
'I don't want to leave here,' replied the leprechaun.
'Nonsense, you will be re-housed,' said Scarlett very firmly. With that she produced a clipboard out of thin air (actually Cato handed it to her.)
The leprechaun was impressed with Scarlett's magical powers and he knew that she had more power than him. He conceded and said to her, 'Before I agree to go from here I want you to show me my new place.'
'Of course nothing could be simpler, leave all your bits and pieces here you won't need them,' said Scarlett to the Leprechaun.
They all mounted the horse and Scarlett told Robin to go to the island that they had prepared for him.
Robin took them over the cottages where the humans used to live and showed the leprechaun that they were very smart cottages. The leprechaun thought to himself that they must belong to very rich humans and that he will soon have much of their gold.
They landed in the woods they had prepared for the leprechaun. Scarlett showed him around and he liked what he saw especially the six crocks made for gold.
'I might be persuaded to take it,' said the leprechaun.
'I thought you might, but there is some paperwork,' said Scarlett.
Scarlett produced an agreement for the leprechaun to sign.
'Now Mr Patrick O'Donovan will you sign here,' said Scarlett.
'I'm not Patrick O'Donovan, I'm Sean O'Donovan,' replied the leprechaun.
'Oh dear!, I'm sorry Mr O'Donovan you can't have this place, it's for a Grade 2 leprechaun , and you're only a Grade 4, this place is too grand for a grade 4,' said Scarlett pretending to feel sorry for the leprechaun.
'I want this place, you brought me here, sort it out, but whatever happens I'm staying here I'm not leaving' said the leprechaun in a most determined manner.
'We must go back to your old home to pick up your things,' said Scarlett in a crafty manner.
The leprechaun suspected a trick; he refused, believing that if he went back Scarlett would not let him return because he is only a Grade 4 leprechaun.
Then Scarlett, seeming to concede to the leprechaun's demands, said, 'Very well, I'll arrange for you to stay here. You will have to sign this form saying you agree to stay and that you revoke all claims to your former home, its goods and remove any spells that you have placed.'
'Willingly,' said the Leprechaun, signing the form and sensing he had won.
'Very well we must leave you now, enjoy your new home, if you can.' said Scarlett.
It was that, 'If you can,' that sowed doubt in the leprechaun's mind that he may have been outwitted.
Scarlett and Cato climbed up onto the horse's back and told Robin to go to the leprechaun's old home.
'You have a very crafty way of dealing with people,' said Cato.
Scarlett just smiled and said, 'All I did was to show that greedy leprechaun something that he couldn't resist, then I threatened to take it away; I knew that he would demand to stay.'
Soon they were at his old house. Scarlett dismounted and went into the house where she soon found the crock of gold.
'Now to Mr O'Rafferty's Farm,' said Scarlett.
They could see that the spell had been lifted and the animals were now walking properly.
'Mr O'Rafferty I have brought you his gold because he must have stolen it from the village people. Will you to return it to them, I don't think you will be troubled by him again, he's marooned on an island.'
'T'ank you, I didn't t'ink you could do it,' said Mr O'Rafferty.
'Now I must go home, I'm getting hungry for my tea,' said Scarlett.
