Writing for Fun
Justin's escapade - Jeanette Rothwell
July 2014
'Something's wrong!' stated Martin. 'I've phoned his landline and his mobile. All I get is an answerfone message or voicemail, he said he would meet us here at 1 o'clock for lunch. It is now 1.45 and still no Justin. What can have happened?'
Jill and Mavis shook their heads. 'It's not like Justin to be late,' said Jill. Mavis just continued to shake her head.
'Shall we go on in and start to eat? Perhaps he will join us later,' suggested Martin. The girls agreed and they made their way into the airy, modern restaurant where they often met for a meal and couple of glasses of wine on a Saturday.
Martin continued to speculate as to what could have happened to Justin and he kept glancing at his mobile phone for any communication from him.
The girls poured over the menu and made their decisions. Martin was still rather distracted. 'Oh, I'll just have what you are having. I don't mind,' he muttered.
The four pals had known each other for about three years. They had met while working for a local fast food chain during their student days, to help them with their university expenses. Martin, who was a tall muscular chap, had been studying Sports Science; Jill was small, with fair curly hair and she wore very strong spectacles which gave her a rather owl-like appearance. She had studied English Literature; Mavis, a fairly sturdy down-to-earth girl, had studied History.
After their graduation Martin and Jill had found jobs and Mavis had joined a publishing company, but Justin was still searching for the right career. He was a small wiry young man but what he lacked in stature, he made up for in personality. He had a ready wit and could keep his pals in fits of laughter with his sense of the ridiculous.
Their friendship was quite platonic. They simply found they all had the same sense of humour which bound them together.
At around 2.30 pm, Martin's phone rang. It was Justin to tell them that he was in the nearby A & E department with a suspected broken arm. The three pals hurriedly finished their lunch, paid the bill and piled into Martin's ancient mini for the journey to the local hospital.
They found Justin sitting in the waiting area, a large plaster on his head and swathes of bandages around his left arm.
'I'm waiting for the result of the X-ray,' ,he explained. They immediately plied him with questions about the accident. He held up his good hand to silence them and explained.
'Well, you know I am a cat person at heart and I don't really care for dogs although I don't wish them any harm, and I was a bit alarmed when I decided to cut through the local woods this morning to meet you guys, when I found the place awash with dogs of all shapes and sizes. Apparently there was a sponsored walk to raise money for dogs. (Why dogs need money when all they do is lounge around in a basket in between meals and walkies, I don't know.) Dogs should be raising money for us.'
His three pals threatened him with all sorts of torture if he didn't get on with the story.
'Anyway,' he continued, 'the first thing I did was nearly trip over a dachshund. The barking and shouting noise was horrendous and chaos reigned. The owner of the dachshund was very sorry, but in no time I seemed to be surrounded by dogs.
'I was just planning my escape when a Great Dane jumped up gripping me with his front paws as if asking me for the next dance. I wouldn't have accepted, his breath was awful. A tweedy woman was shouting, 'Egbert, get down. Oh don't mind him, sonny, he just wants to say hello. I ask you, what a name for a dog. I think there should be a law against dog owners who say their dogs only want to say hello.'
Once again his companions nearly thumped him. 'What happened next? They said almost in unison.
'Anyway, to cut a long story short, Egbert was too much for me and I gave way under his weight. I hit my head on the nearest tree and landed on my arm which felt very strange and was beginning to hurt.'
'The tweedy woman managed to shoo away all the dogs, including the dachshund, which was showing just a bit too much interest in me and had started to lick my face. I think I lost it for a while because the next thing I knew I was in an ambulance on my way to this place, so here we are.'
The girls made a big fuss of Justin but Martin unsympathetically muttered, 'silly idiot.'
Justin was then called in to see the consultant. The three of them sat drinking some foul machine-produced coffee until he reappeared. Apparently his arm was not broken just badly bruised and the wrist was sprained.
'Come on,' urged Justin, 'I'm starving, I missed my lunch.'
Once again they all squeezed into Martin's Mini. As they were going along, Jill sniffed the air and then turned to Justin. 'What on earth is that dressing they've put on your arm. It smells awful.'
Justin protested, 'That isn't the dressing, it's the After-Shave you and Mavis brought me back from China.'
'I'm sure it didn't smell like that in the shop,' said Mavis, 'Perhaps it reacts when it's on your skin. It isn't very fragrant.'
'Perhaps I put on too much,' mused Justin.
After discussion, they all agreed to return to Justin's tiny bedsit and rustle up some food for him. When they reached his road, it was with dismay that Justin espied the tweedy woman, standing outside his front door, minus Egbert, he was pleased to see. She greeted him with more apologies and sympathy for his fall and then said, 'Would you let me make amends and invite you to a meal at my house on Sunday. We are having a few friends in and you would be very welcome. You and your friends, of course.'
Always ready to accept an invitation for a free meal the friends thanked her and agreed to join her and her family and friends for Sunday Lunch. She gave them her address which was in a rather posh road in town and the pals eagerly anticipated the meal.
Sunday arrived and they all put on some smart outfits to do homage to the occasion.
There were a lot of hunting types there, all gushing and hugging and kissing their greetings to each other. The pals felt rather isolated for a while. However, tweedy woman made sure they had drinks and introduced them to various guests so they soon felt more comfortable.
Suddenly, the French doors were opened and in bounded Egbert followed by the dreaded dachshund. The dogs made a beeline for Justin who backed away in alarm, hiding behind a large wooden chair, to keep them away.
Tweedy woman once again shouted, 'They only want to say hello.'
Justin muttered, 'I would rather say good bye.'
She then came up to Justin to rescue him from behind the chair. As she got nearer, she sniffed the air and then sniffed Justin. 'Good God, man, what is that smell?' she demanded.
'I think might be referring to my After-Shave,' he timidly offered.
'That's not After-Shave, that's the stuff we use on the bitches in the Kennels to attract any reluctant dogs. Where did you get it from?'
Jill intervened. 'Mavis and I bought it in Shanghai. They said it was the latest in fragrances for men.'
Tweedy woman laughed and laughed. Martin could also see the funny side of it but both Jill and Mavis were absolutely appalled at their mistake.
Martin gasped between chuckles. 'There's no doubt about it, girls, there really was something wrong with that stuff.'