Writing for Fun
The Review - Sue Barker
May 2014
Gerry was sweating over a hot stove, literally. It was vital that his menu tonight was absolutely faultless. Every dish must be a taste of heaven because he had received a tip off from a friend that Brandon St John the influential restaurant critic was coming to his restaurant tonight.
Gerry had only been open for two months and this was going to be imperative to the future of the business. Cooking had always been his passion and he had worked his way up from sous-chef until he was confident he was able to rise to the challenge of going it alone and opening his own restaurant. He had sunk every penny he had into Chez Gerald's; everything he owned had been sold, it was the biggest gamble of his life. And now the restaurant critic was coming in tonight. What would he prepare? he asked himself, what was the most impressive thing he could cook?
Brandon St John had the reputation of being the most censorious of the critics the local paper employed. He had single handedly ruined the reputation of three chefs in the last year alone. Unbeknown to anyone, the review he was carrying out tonight was to be his last. He had lost his enthusiasm and was going to retire to the country and only dine out on special occasions. He knew he was difficult to please, but when you have critiqued over one hundred restaurants you finally lose the enthusiasm for eating out. Why do chefs think you want a melange of flavours, each one vying to get centre stage. If only they knew all Brandon really wanted was a simple dish, beautifully presented, but uncomplicated.
Gerry spent all morning and the first two hours of the afternoon planning the menu. He considered roast guinea fowl with roasted fennel and beetroot but this was dismissed, as was beef with chocolate sauce. He was poring over one recipe book after another. He knew he was panicking and needed to collect his thoughts and he decided that he would prepare a meal he would be happy to eat himself. Gerry's own personal favourite meal was steak with hassleback potatoes served with a side salad. But would that impress a connoisseur? He knew that he could cook this easily but needed something special to make it an outstanding dinner, but what ingredient would do that? How about grated truffle, that had a touch of style, but would it impress?
By four o'clock he knew he had to do something soon or he would be serving up beans on toast! Back to the drawing board, do what you know best a little voice in his head exclaimed. Ok steak and the trimmings it was to be. To clear his mind he went for a quick walk in the woods near his bistro. While out he noticed some unusual looking mushrooms, he picked several and went back to the restaurant. He would produce a mushroom side dish with a sublime dressing. He began preparing it all, a smidgeon of this, a touch of that, I cannot disclose the ingredients as they were kept top secret. Finally, it was ready; all he needed to do was cook the meal when Brandon arrived.
Brandon was just setting off to the restaurant. He couldn't wait for it to be over, after tonight there would be no more pretentious meals, fawning restaurateurs, and hopefully no more indigestion. With a weary tread and a morose expression he opened the door and stepped inside. He was pleasantly surprised with the decor, which was fresh and had relaxing lighting, he would at least be able to see his meal, which wasn't always the case. The chairs were padded and comfortable, you could sit for hours here and not suffer backache. Maybe tonight would be better than he thought. He was thrown off guard by the lack of a menu, the chef explained he was only cooking the three courses that were on the board; and after having ascertained Brandon liked steak, and Gerry went off to do what he did best. Brandon surveyed the room, there were several diners chatting quietly away, the background music was exactly that; in the background. Starters finished, and then came the dish the whole evening depended on, Brandon's eyes lit up, what a beautifully arranged plate, a feast for the eyes. The steak smelt divine, the potatoes were just crisp on the outside and soft inside, but the mushrooms were something else. This was the first time he had seen such a side dish, he hadn't actually ever seen this variety of mushroom before, and the sauce on the mushroom dish was bliss on your lips. Incredible, his last review and it would be his best. This chef was truly a genius, how best to describe the dish. As a critic he had many phrases he had relied on repeatedly, there were only so many ways to express his opinion, but not this time. What would aptly sum this dish up? He rushed his desert which was quite delightful but nothing could compare with the main course.
He had a brief chat with Gerry, giving him comfort that the review would be favourable. This was unheard of previously but it was his swan-song, so he felt he could be a little charitable. After leaving the restaurant Brandon sat down at his computer contemplating his review, he wanted a snappy headline, this restaurant deserved to succeed and he wanted to contribute towards this success. After a few moments thought the title came to him in a flash, he smiled to himself and typed 'A dressing to die for' which was better than his original idea of 'Dressing to kill' that may put people off, it sounded like a title for a crime novel or a short story, not a restaurant review.