The thunder and lightning resounded outside the house as Sarah came down the stairs she did not have a care in the world, but in a flash that all changed. She saw the mail on the doormat and the official letter stood out and her stomach sank. Sarah knew that the news would have to be unfortunate. The word unfortunate ran round and round in her head asshe sorted themail, the rest was rubbish and went straight into the recycling. Left with the one ominous letter Sarah placed this bang in the centre of the kitchen table. Her stomach was churning and she decided this ticking bomb did not have to be opened yet or even at all. As the thunder clashed and roared she called the dog and picking up the lead went out, locking the door behind her.
Sarah loved walking in the wind and rain; she always had the same pathetic thought that the torrential rain would wash away the sins and worries in her world. The dog was fretting at her heels as if sensing her foreboding. Sarah started to run and dog and owner raced together, they looked a carefree pair both enjoying the downpour and each other. On they raced around the woods until Sarah came to the large log and pulling up sharply sat down and her heart finally broke. The sobs jerked her body and her head fell forward, she could feel Ruby nuzzling her as the rain ran down the back of her neck. At last the sobbing subsided and emotions spent Sarah knew it was time to get a grip.
Returning to her house Sarah dried off Ruby feeding her and leavingthe letterin the centre of the table she went and showered. Finally totally devoid of any feelings she came down and making a good strong espresso coffee she pulled the letter towards her. Inside the official envelope was another and inside that the cheap Basildon Bond lined paper with but a few words. Hardly grammatical and just three points listed.
Died 7th June Funeral 18th June at 11.30 Upminster Crematorium
So there it was - the person who had driven Sarah from her home and cost her ten years of freedom was dead and gone. One part of her was so relieved but not believing in heaven or hell she knew that the experience of nothingness for the dead could only be a release.
People talked with such fervour about twin's togetherness, their affinity with each other and all that rubbish. The family had made its choice and believed Ruth, that was what hurt Sarah the most thefamily never fully realised or identified how different the two girls were. Looking identical did not mean their behaviours and indeed their consciences, moral and ethics were the same? The prison sentence had meant nothing to Sarah; the isolation from her family was everything and had left her numb and cold as ice on the inside. Ruthie had always been so sly, spiteful and mean, but she was so quick that no one ever caught her out and so it was on that fateful day.
All egomaniacs have to be centre stage and Ruth had soon realised that being pregnant at such a young age was not good for her looks or indeed her image. The baby was the first granddaughter and the apple of everyone's eye. But Sarah had been so naivethatshe had not noticed Ruth sowing seeds of Sarah's jealousy of the baby and indeed imagined jealousy of Ruth. The day the baby's pushchair rolled out into the road, everyone just believed it was Sarah; Ruth had pushed the buggy and letting go immediately turned to Sarah screaming at her 'What have you done?' and with that simple comment Sarah was well and truly done for. She was arrested and charged with child manslaughter and sent to prison.
Sarah had never spoken to her family since that dreadful day, she had watched them grief stricken fawn around Ruth and try to console her grief. She rejected all prison visits and returned all letters unopened, on her release she left the prison very early and disappeared from her family forever. Her probation officer had been good and kind and it was through him that she had rebuilt her life and through him that the letter this morning had finally been received.
Two days until the funeral what a family gathering that would be if she was to turn up. A visit to the library was needed and Sarah spent a useful couple of hours researching what had indeed happened to Ruth? At last there it was in the local evening papers. Family hearing a deathbed confession they wished it to be noted that on the death of one of their twin daughters, Ruth Mary Jones had confessed to the murder of her own daughter and had indeed been the twin that had pushed her daughter out into the road. Ruth had died in the local hospice after a long and painful illness; family had been at her bedside. Sarah had been imprisoned in error and Ruth had let her languish there for over ten years. The family had no means of locating Ruth and had no idea as to where she was but they had passed on the confession to the appropriate authorities.
Sarah grimaced to herself it was all too late her family had all made their choices long ago. Ruth had killed her own baby and set up her own twin for it, her life had not turned out so well after all. Sarah's mind was in aturmoil her life had moved on and her identity had been protected. There was little point in her applying for a pardon or indeed for the judgement to be quashed. Her marital family had always believed in her and trusted her completely. If she was to go to the funeral what would she gain, the only plus would be to see her parents and her brothers and probably there would be some nieces and nephews by now. The rain eased off and Sarah was at last returning to her normal self. Life for her was good with her own family and part time work. Her only serious cross to bear had been prison and the loss of family. The kids came in from school and the house once again became chaotic with John coming in from work dinner was soon served.
After dinner and with the children in bed they poured a glass of wine and talked about the situation. John had known all along about Ruth and what had happened and had never doubted Sarah for a moment. Sarah loved him to bits he was clear and uncomplicated whatever she decided he would be right there with her. Finally the plan came together and the funeral day arrived. The children went off to school and Sarah and John drove to the crematorium. It was a large place with two chapels one big and one small, Ruthie's service was to be in the small one. Sarah and John mixed with the funeral party at the large chapel and indicated her family to John as they arrived, just six in number with three teenagers.They all appeared to belooking for someone and Sarah knew that this somebody was not going to arrive, Sarah and John were mixing with the other funeral and the pair was not given a glance. The hearse and family disappeared inside.
Sarah and John returned to their car and a bare twenty minutes later her birth family reappeared walked around behind the chapel to see the flowers. Shortly after they all returned to the funeral car and in a wink of an eye her family had gone. John took her hand and they removed the small posy of flowers from the back seat, walking round the gardens they stopped for a brief moment and laid the posy with her family's flowers. She read her card 'Peace at last for a troubled soul'. John squeezed her hand and they hugged it was all over now and she knew it had been a family meeting best avoided.