September 2013
All his life Albert Tuck's one ambition was to own a Fish and Chip Shop. At every opportunity he worked in a chip shop to learn how to cook the fish and chips to perfection. He had worked hard and experimented to perfect just the right temperature to cook the fish and chips taking into consideration the type of fish, the batter and the type of potato.
He saved his money and now he had enough to buy a shop. It was a little run down and needed redecorating. He had already decided what he should call his shop it was to be called 'TUCK FISH AND CHIPS IT'S FIT 4 YOU', a little long but that's what he wanted.
He wanted something very special for the lettering above the shop front so he would call in a professional.
These letters would be made specially for him they would be in gold and have glass beads stuck to them so that they glittered in the sun. He felt he had done his research and was able to call on the best manufacture and fitter in the area.
He contacted the supplier and told him exactly what he wanted. The supplier told him that he had a lot of work to do at that moment but he would get round to his task in about a month.
About a month later two workmen turned up to carry out the fitting. It seemed that the manufacturer had labour problems and so to keep up with his work schedule, he employed two men from Eastern Europe. The way they set about the job gave him confidence to let them carry on. He had to go out so he left them to complete the task.
When he returned to the shop the two fitters had finished and left.
The shock of what they had done almost made him faint. Some young boys and girls were outside his shop and they were laughing and pointing at the sign they were taking photographs on their 'phones and texting them to their friends. A TV Outside Broadcast Van was there taking pictures of his sign. The TV presenter thrust a microphone into his face as he tried to get into his shop. Of the sign all of the lettering had been beautifully fitted and the gold seemed to glow and the beads glittered, somehow it seemed to make it worse.
What they had done was to swap two of the letters round in the shop's name. They had left the T off the first word TUCK and replaced it with the first letter from FIT, they had put that T in place of the missing letter the word FIT. They had turned his precious sign into one of bad language.
The local vicar on seeing the boys and girls laughing was waiting for him.
'I suppose you think that sign is funny and the use of that word is so common place these days that you would use it for your shop, as for the TIT,' said the vicar as soon as he came through the door.
'I'm sorry Vicar but the name of the shop was to be Tuck, that's me, Fish and Chips it's Fit 4 You, not what they have put up outside,' he replied.
'Oh I'm sorry but I thought you were one of those where every other word out of their mouth is a swear word,' said the vicar.
'Please, would you help me swap the letters,' he asked. 'All my life I wanted to have a Fish and Chip shop, now this happens to spoil it for me.'
'Of course I will,' said the vicar sympathetically as he could see that the owner was very upset with the sign.
He removed the offending letters but in removing them he broke them, so he wasn't able to swap their position. Later that evening he wrote a strong letter of complaint to the manufacturer about what his men had done.
Next day the manufacturer 'phoned. 'Hello, I'm so sorry about what they have done, I have to employ East Europeans, so they are not always familiar with our language. I have an F already made so I can put your TIT right straight away. I'll have to order some more gold plated metal to make a new T for you. I'm sorry but the supply of the material is not in my hands.'
After waiting a couple of months, it happened.
Two of the manufacturer's men arrived to fix the long awaited Letter, he now had the TUCK he always wanted.