Southend U3A

The Hitch-hiker - Bob Wendelkin

July 2013

'Would Captain Grant of AirLuft please come to the AeroCon check-in desk number 15,' said the Tannoy voice.

'That's for me,' said Bill Grant under his breath, then he made his way through the Air terminal towards the check-in desk. Bill was hitching a ride to Los Angeles where he hoped to stay with some friends. Then to go to the Boeing works in Seattle and pick up a new aircraft for AirLuft, his current employer.

'I'm Captain Grant,' he said to the check-in girl.

'We have a flight for you to LA taking off in about 45 minutes. Would you like me to put you on board?' asked receptionist.

'Thank you very much, that will be perfect. For pilots to be able to Hitch lifts around the world makes life so much easier and less stressful. I can sit back and take it easy while another pilot has to do all the work,' said Bill.

'Would you take your luggage to express loading as it's getting a little late to load the aircraft, then go to the crew's office to check-in,' said the girl.

'No problem, I know the way,' replied Bill with a smile.

Bill did as he was told soon he was getting on to the aircraft.

'Captain Grant welcome aboard. I'm afraid you may have to ride in the jockey seat initially but I will try to move you up to a seat in First Class once we get underway. The Captain has asked me to take you to the flight deck as soon as you arrive,' said a Flight Attendant.

'Hello, Bill, l thought it was you when they told me we have a Hitch Hiker,' said the pilot.

'I'm off to Boeing,' said Bill, shaking hands with an old friend.

Just then there was a call from Air Traffic Control to tell the pilot that the aircraft was about to roll back.

'I'll see you later,' said Bill as he resumed to his seat.

Within a short time the plane was in the air and climbed to its cruising height and set its course for LAX. Bill settled into an upgraded seat. The journey he knew would take about 11 hours; to fill those hours of boredom he sorted out a book. For the next few hours he became engrossed in the story about a poor old lonely woman called Eleanor who spent her life looking alter the church wherein she finally died and was buried. He looked at his watch and saw that they had been flying for about 4 hours. Then one of the attendants came up to him and touched him on the shoulder.

'My goodness you do look just like Doris Day, sorry,' was Bill's first comment as he looked at her.

'Please could you come to the flight deck,' said the attendant, totally ignoring his comment about Doris Day.

'Yes of course, no problem,' said Bill as he got up out of his seat and followed the girl to the flight deck. Expecting to be greeted by the pilot he was confronted by the sight of the pilot and his co-pilot slumped in their seats. He couldn't tell if they were asleep or worse but one thing was certain they were not flying the aircraft.

'I just came to bring them something to eat and I found them both unconscious. I tried to wake them but I couldn't,' said the girl.

Bill went over and gave the pilot a sharp smack across his face. there was no response. He did the same to the co-pilot with the same result. He noticed that both men had a water bottle by their sides, he picked one up and smelt it there was a very faint smell he didn't recognise and the labels were different to those he had seen in the passenger cabin. Had someone slipped them drugged water bottles? Were they both victims of terrorists dragging their water?

'Help me move them so I can get into the pilot's seat,' said Bill.

He and the girl struggled to remove the pilot and Bill settled into his seat. He thought to himself I'm not familiar with the Airbus layout, I'm used to flying Boeings. Still needs must. First thing I must contact ground control. Taking the head set and mic off the pilot he called up ground control.

'Mayday! Mayday! This is flight AC 2013 bound for LAX. Ground control we have a problem,' said Bill.

'Ground control to AC201 3 what's the problem?'

Bill explained the situation and that the crew were unconscious and that he was sitting in the pilot's seat.

'Could you put me in touch with a pilot who is familiar with this type of aircraft ASAP,' asked Bill.

'I'll put you in touch with the Emergency Control Group of AeroCon straight away, the next voice you will hear will be from them. It will take about 10 minutes for the conference links to be completed. Is there anything you need in the meantime? The aircraft is safe at the moment don't touch a thing,' replied ground control.

About 10 minutes later the links had been made and a conferencing system had been set up and they linked up with Bill.

'I understand the crew are disabled and you have taken over. Let me introduce the emergency team. We have Mr Jones our Lawyer, Mr James our Accountant, Mr Jackson who is publicity and there are one or two others in support. I'm told by the technical boffins that you probably have about 6 hours fuel left and the aircraft is flying itself,' said the Emergency Chairman.

'Can I speak to an Airbus pilot to explain the controls as I'm used to the Boeing Layout?' asked Bill.

'All in good time but first we need to ask you a few questions, I'll put you over to Mr Jones our Lawyer,' said the controller.

'Ah, Captain Grant, I believe you are a pilot for AirLuft. Are you qualified to fly this type of aircraft? And could you give me the details of your certification to see if you have any authority to fly this type of aircraft,' asked the Lawyer.

'We could crash in the next 6 hours and you are asking questions like this instead of putting me in touch with a qualified pilot' retorted Bill.

'Exactly, you could all be dead and out of it in 6 hours. It's us, the living, who have to clear up the mess you have left behind. If you go down there will be enquires and other lawyers will try to twist what we have done. I think you are being extremely selfish in just thinking of yourself we have our problems as well. Yours could all be over in hours but ours could go on for years and cost thousands of pounds,' replied the Lawyer.

'No I'm not checked out to fly this type of aircraft, but I'm fully qualified to fly other large passenger airliners. Will you put me in touch with my AirLuft boss. Now!' replied Bill.

'We will arrange contact with AirLuft for you. But could you help us get all the paperwork out of the way as it will make our work so much easier if the worst happens,' answered the chairman.

'So just confirm what you have said for the record. You are not qualified to fly this type of aircraft. You are not employed by AeroCon but a pilot from a rival company AirLuft. You are taking over from our pilot and co-pilot who are both unconscious and you suspect that they have been drugged by terrorists. Please answer yes or no,' continued the Lawyer.

'I didn't say I was taking over, all I asked was to speak to a qualified pilot,' said Bill as he began to get the feel of communications.

'We wish to discuss a few things. I'll just cut you off for a few minutes,' said the chairman, but he failed to press the correct buttons so Bill was able to hear their discussion.

'This aircraft is over 25 years old and has a limited life left and it is fully insured as a new for old replacement. I've checked the passenger list, most of them are pensioners so if they go there shouldn't be any major claims from dependents and they would be covered by insurance. In fact the company could be better off as we could get a brand new aircraft out of it and others take the blame,' said the accountant.

'From the publicity point of view if the aircraft crashes it was under the control of a rival's incompetent pilot, our pilots being rendered unconscious drugged by terrorists. I think we could come out of it quite well,' said the publicist.

'It would be better if the aircraft could go into the sea as there will be fewer injured survivors making long term claims, or giving confusing stories and there would be less chance of any 3rd party damage to property on the ground. Unless we are very unlucky and they hit a ship,' interjected the Lawyer. 'If he puts it down safely and they all walk away there is no problem, if he doesn't we can blame others and not our company. But to the general public we must give every impression that we have done everything to get them down safely,' said the chairman.

'Ok put him back on the line.'

'I heard all what you were saying. You all disgust me,' retorted Bill.

'A few years ago it would have been so much easier we would have put you in the seat and helped to talk you down. It's much more complicated these days; now we are so constrained we have to conform to all manner of laws and regulations like Health and Safety, Public Liability, The CAA, Insurance, Accident compensation claims, Publicity, Air Accident Investigation Board, police and very many more,' replied the chairman. 'I've got your boss from AirLuft on the line, he wants to talk to you,' continued the chairman.

'Hello, Captain Grant, I've heard what is going on. You must not touch those controls. If you do you will be immediately dismissed from this company as the publicity of one of our pilots crashing one of their planes is unthinkable,' said Bill's boss.

'You are all crazy! There's a couple of hundred people on board and all you are thinking about are yourselves and a lot of paperwork trivia; we are just a bloody nuisance,' said Bill, the frustration beginning to get the better of him. 'You can all go to hell, I'm turning you lot off.' With that he ripped the headset off and threw it across the flight deck.

The Flight Attendant went over to Bill. 'Sorry to wake you but we should be landing at LAX in about 10 minutes, so will you fasten your seat belt. Our Captain has invited you to join us later for drinks at the hotel. I hope you enjoyed the trip and will Hitch-hike a ride with us again quite soon.'