June 2013
As soon as I saw you at that holiday hotel, saw you walking towards me. I knew I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life.
You smiled and made some comment that I just didn't take in because I was so stunned. Not by your beauty, although that went without saying, but just something that spoke to me in some way as you passed me by.
I spent what seemed like hours wondering how I could further engage you in conversation as you were in the company of another man. Was he your husband, lover: hell I didn't care I just knew I had to have you by my side, talking, smiling. The next morning I went early for a walk and on my return, there you were coming along the path towards the hotel and said what it lovely morning it was, and you were one for early morning walks, when the air was fresh.
I was so delighted and threw out the remark that if she wanted company I usually left the hotel at seven. To my surprise and pleasure she said it would be good to walk with someone else as something beautiful came to view, it was good to share the sight and comment.
This started a week of such delight to me. We talked about our lives and were surprised that we in fact did not work so far away from each other in London.
She was with someone, but he worked away a lot so it left her a great deal freedom.
We never touched, even hands all that week but enjoyed each other's company in with the rest of the tour; it was a gardening holiday that took in several personal gardens on the Island and the company was really good but I find that folk who like plants and flowers are always interesting and nice.
On the Saturday we parted company, she on the steamer and me on the plane. We had not made any plans but when I reached home I knew I had to ring her, supposingly to find out if she had reached home safely. She had and said how much she had enjoyed my company so I asked if she would meet me for lunch sometime. She said well, she had taken so many photographs and it would be nice to go through them together.
Consequence was we met sometimes for lunch and sometimes for a theatre and l took her back to her station and wanted to pull her into my arms as she left. I was afraid what her reaction would be. Would she push me away and never see me again?
I found that any thoughts were constantly with her, my concentration at work was becoming worrying as I even chucked a meeting when she rang to say she had a few hours, was I interested in lunch.
We never spoke about her man, and I didn't wish to imagine her with him but I felt we might became closer and I started to plan ways to maybe get her to have a weekend away; separate rooms of course. I could suggest something like a special garden far enough away so as to spread it to a weekend. Looking at the Net I found the very thing and was almost tempted to book the hotel and tell her it was a freebie from a firm we dealt with.
I built up my courage and asked for a meet soon, very soon. And she said she was busy for a week but could make it the Tuesday after I spent the whole time making plans just knowing this was to be the time when we would become close and I would make her feel the love and desire for me equal my love for her; yes I realised it was love and I constantly yearned for Tuesday to arrive. We met and she looked wonderful. I had chosen an expensive restaurant. I couldn't wait to ask her about the trip and had the brochure of the Manor House in front of her when she said, 'Oh how strange that is the place where we are to marry in a month's time.'
How am I supposed to live without youHow am I supposed to live without you, tell me. I've been loving you so long. How am I supposed to carry on when all that I've been living for has gone.