January 2013
Well she had been and gone and done it now. All that humming and harring was over. Lucy was not known for procrastination, but this time she had, months and months it had roamed round inside her head. She knew that she looked a bit on the silly side, her blond curly locks, smiley face and slim figure did somehow give her a ditzy appearance. Yet underneath it all was this very calm and measured approach. Her friends thought, because she did not talk about things in great depth and certainly did not argue that she was easy going - malleable was what some said.
Now at last she felt free, they had not realised that she was at her most decisive when she did notdiscuss things. This was because Lucy had already made up her mind. No point arguing or discussing, others only tried to make you do what they wanted and what was the least inconvenience for them. Or even what was in their best interests and only a token gesture towards her. So sod them, she was grown up and adult and she could do anything she wanted to. Maybe it was a step into the unknown but the routine and predictability that had become her life was slowly doing her head in.
Lucy laughed to herself, sometimes to do nothing was the easiest way, but she had certainly paid a price. John was a source of pleasure to all her friends. They frequently told her how lucky she was to have met him, never mind what that said about her! He was so intelligent, funny and smart; little did they know how dull and routine her life had become! Roast on Sundays, left over's Monday, John cooked on Tuesday or at least he brought home a takeaway. That was the closest he came to cooking and he gradually had done less and less around the house. Pub on Fridays and footie on Saturdays, either in front of the television or he went to the match.
A gradual awareness had grown about her, life was tedious dull and boring and now he had mentioned having children she felt that her life was over, condemned to meeting everyone else's needs and not her own. How had she allowed this to happen – no one's fault but her own? Things were now about to change and for everyone. She stopped paused rested her bags and then changing hands she started off again. The sun shone brightly so she decided to take a last walk through the park. The daffodils and crocuses were in full bloom and she breathed in deeply smelling the fresh spring air. She would miss the seasons but there was a lot to look forward to. The apprehension was churning in her stomach as she walked into the station, bought her ticket and waited for her train.
She wasn't leaving because of John or indeed because of her family and friends. Only her Dad understood and only her dad knew. Funny, when she was a child her dad had kept disappearing and coming back. He had worked around the world. Mind you he always got homesick and missed his family, so he frequently came back early. She knew deep down that what she was doing was right for her, so in the end it would be right for everyone else in her life. Though already she could imagine the moans and groans about how selfish she was being, but she knew she would not hear them where she was going and her grin grew bigger.
The train came in on the other platform and as she looked across; there was John. As her train came in he looked over and did a double take, he noticed the bags and then stood and watched in horror as she got into the carriage. Opening the far side window she waved and called out 'Bye, John'. The shock and horror on his face was a sight to see and she sat down laughing to herself. He would find her letter left on the top of the remote control, a letter explaining it all. But deep down she knew he would not understand. It would only have resulted in an argument to try and explain. He really needed to live with a nice homely girl, someone with a nice little job and who thought that having his children and putting him at the centre of their universe was everything. Maybe one of her friends who thought he was such a good catch would take him on. It was up to him now to build his own life and not to control hers.
She changed tubes and travelled on to Heathrow, at last disembarking with her luggage. Her professional books she had crated and sent on ahead. VSO were pleased and excited to find her a position and she'd had a healthy selection to choose from. After careful consultation with her dad she had decided on Malawi, setting up a school in the bush was an exciting opportunity. She was well qualified for this fantastic chance and it would also enhance her present skill base. Yes it may be a step into the unknown but her life would no longer be dull, boring and routine. Lucy was clear and as the plane taxied down the runway she felt her spirits soar and knew nothing ventured, nothing gained.