October 2011
George Coates shuffled the papers on his gleaming mahogany desk, glanced, frowning towards the door for the fifteenth time.
'Let's start without her.'
'I'm sorry, James we must wait until all interested parties are present.'
James sat back in his chair with an impatient sigh just as the door burst open and in came a small round whirlwind.
'About time, aunt Alice, began to think you weren't coming.'
'Of course I was coming. . I need to be here, he promised me the best chamber pot, the one with the blue flowers.'
'Now then, ladies and gentlemen, let me begin. I am here today, as you are all aware to read Nathaniel's will.' He cleared his throat ready to begin.
'He promised I could have the chamber pot you know.'
'Yes, Aunt Alice we all know, now let the man speak.'
'This is last will and testament of me Nathaniel George Walpole Crudgington of 1, Whitehouse Lane, Chesterfield Road in the city of Sheffield out of business. I revoke all former wills,'
'For God's sake get on with it man!'
'Be patient Mrs Crudgington, formalities must be adhered to. Now where was I? Oh yes, revoke all former wills. I devise and bequeath all my real estate upon trust to my dear wife Eliza. To my beloved son, James I bequeath my second best bed, the one he rarely gets out of, the red chair and the family bible, in the hope he will read and take note of its teachings.
'What about . . .'
'Oh be quiet Aunt Alice.'
'To my son Daniel I bequeath the pewter tankard, five hundred pounds, and my gold pocket watch, hoping it may improve his timekeeping.'
'He promised it to me you know.'
'Be quiet, Alice!'
'To my dear daughter Elizabeth I bequest two hundred pounds a year to be paid monthly and the pianoforte from the front parlour.'
'He always said, 'Alice, you shall have the blue . . .''
'Be quiet, Alice!'
'To my younger daughter, Mary I bequeath two hundred pounds a year, The cedarwood blanket box, and all therein.
'To Ada Cooper, my faithful servant, I leave five hundred pounds, her cottage, all the surrounding woodland, the best bed and my humble thanks for all the many services, comfort, affection she has bestowed upon me.
'In witness thereof I set my hand on this 22nd August 1761
'Signed: Nathaniel George Walpole Crudgington.
'But he promised me . . .'
'Oh be quiet Alice!'
The solicitor cleared his throat again, 'And there is a codicil.
'Codicil
'I bequeath to my dear sister, Alice the house in which she lives, all the land thereon, and one thousand pounds, with thanks for her help and support over the years.'
'But you promised me the blue chamber pot!'
'Oh shut up Alice!'