Cold Turkey - Betty Davis
October 2011
I should cook the Christmas dinner, but I'm awash with wine
I've hung about the mistletoe, which proved a waste of time
The turkey's on the sideboard looking cold and awfully dead
If I could brave the snow and ice I'd bury it instead
I should be busy in the kitchen creating culinary treats
Humming songs of Christmas cheer rushed off me ruddy feet
I pull myself together, read the quick recipe page
The writing dances sideways – I give up at this stage
To address my would be diners, I stagger through the door
Clutching bottled courage, I hazily mull the score
'I'm really pleased to see you, Christmas wouldn't be the same
Without the friends and family, I'm really glad you came.
The table's set already, I did it yesterday
The holly decorations, a master of display
There's chocolate cake and Baileys, there's biscuits there's wine
Beers chilled to perfection, the starter is sublime
There is a little problem, hardly worth a mention
Don't know how it happened, wasn't my intention
I know the invitation says dinner sharp at four
It is altered now to midnight – unless you want it raw?