June 2011
Jade sat at the bar nursing a glass of white wine; it wasn't long before Carl came in, eying up the girls, smiling in that so charming way he had. Looking for his next victim maybe? Yes, thought Jade, that's him, Carl The Joker. Ever since primary school Carl had been known as The Joker, his antics were quite amusing when he was young, hiding pencils, writing rude words on the blackboard for the teacer to find. Once he even put a dead mouse on Miss Potter's desk. Irritating but not malicious. Later, however, by secondary school, his jokes became more sophisticated and often quite hurtful. But the girls seemed to love him even though he treated then badly, excusing his behaviour as, 'I was only joking.' Carl made life hell for anyone who happened to be slightly different: John with his red hair and slight lisp was an easy target for Carl's teasing; Jason's life was made a misery by Carl writing on the walls 'J the gay', 'Jason's a poof.' Elizabeth, who was slightly slow, was taunted by being called 'Lizzie dripping', which often had her in tears. But it was, 'just a joke.'
Jade had kept in touch with some of the class and was pleased to be invited to a ten year reunion at the local hotel.
Seeing Jade alone at the bar looking gorgeous and sexy in a slinky red low cut dress, Carl moved in for the kill.
'Hello gorgeous, I didn't quite catch your name.'
'Hello, handsome, I didn't quite throw it.'
Carl sat opposite her and they chatted about school. 'Let me get you another.' Carl clicked his fingers for the barman's attention.
'I don't remember you from school.' he said.
'I've changed quite a bit since then.'
The barman came over with the drinks; as Jade reached for her wine, her hand brushed against Carl's glass of beer and sent it flying right into his lap.
'Oh I'm so sorry.' she said, trying to mop his soaked shirt, 'Look I've booked a room for a couple of nights, come up and dry off.' He brightened up at that; he brightened up even more when he saw the room, She must have a bob or two to be able to afford this, he thought.
'Go into the bathroom, throw out your clothes and I'll send for someone to take them and launder them. Have a nice hot shower; the bathroom is state of the art: push the red button for hot soapy water and then the green button, it dries you with lovely warm air. I'll be getting the champagne out.'
'Come on Carl, I'm ready and waiting.'
Carl pressed the green button and stood for a while letting the warm air dry him, then with a flourish he opened the door to the bedroom.
'Surprise!'
Carl stood starkers and bewildered, he gaped, the room was full of his ex class mates. He grabbed a pillow from the bed, in a feeble attempt to cover himself.
'You Bitch!'
'It was just a joke; I know you like jokes.'
Carl's face turned red with rage.
'Anyway there's another even better joke.' Jade pulled off the long blond wig.
'Remember me now handsome? – J the Gay, Jason the poof? . . . Nowdays I'm known as Jade the Rave, Most famous female impersonator in America.'