Writing for Fun
August 2020
Secrets - Pete Norman
Lucy was a dutiful child and she always tried her very best to please her parents. Pleasing her parents, however, was not always an easy thing to do because the household rules were numerous and strict but at least they were ‘firm but fair’.
As a part of her moral upbringing, her mother had impressed on her from a very early age that to lie is a mortal sin. She was also taught that a secret is a reprehensible thing. Her mother insisted that it is really, really bad to keep secrets because concealing something was tantamount to telling a lie. Instead she must ‘tell the truth and shame the Devil’. Lucy had never fully understand why the Devil would be ashamed if she kept one tiny, insignificant little secret to herself but she was an obedient child and, particularly as her mother was a Sunday School teacher, she had no reason to question her superior wisdom.
Of course, as she got older she learned by bitter experience that sometimes some things should remain a secret to prevent someone from getting hurt. For example, if you are asked something like, ‘Does my bum look big in this?’ the answer which holds a serious health warning is often the one which imparts the most truth.
Lucy always tried her best to comply with her mother’s wishes, being truthful wherever possible but she also knew that some ‘little white lies’ were an invaluable retreat, a wall behind which to hide when the going got really complicated.
However, when and at what point does a little white lie become big and black and dangerous?
The answer, I suppose, is ‘how long is a piece of string?’
Everyone will, of course, choose their own length for the said piece of string depending on the severity of the current situation and the potential harm which might result from a careless expose. Lucy soon learned the hard way which of her friends she could entrust with her most intimate secrets and those to whom a secret should forever remain a secret and be emphatically denied until hell freezes over – because, she reasoned, hell freezing over would surely upset the Devil a great deal more than her telling the truth.
Discovering your own boundaries, however, can be very difficult and at least two of her early relationships foundered on the rocks as a result of her absolute honesty at the most inappropriate times and so she grew to be who she is now. Up to this point she has not been a bad person but neither has she always been completely good.
When she first met Stephen her life changed. He was so sweet, he liked the same things that she did, they thought the same way about most things, they could talk for hours on the same wavelength – they were soulmates. She felt that she could tell him everything, each and every fear and concern, every single fall from grace, every indiscretion, every secret.
Setting up home with him was the most natural thing she had ever done. They feathered their love nest and then settled back ‘until death us do part’.
For some years life was indeed idyllic but, as the wise are fond of saying, all good things must come to an end and in Lucy’s case that end came about almost imperceptibly over a long period of her life and then with sudden and devastating finality.
In a quiet corner of the terrace at the rear of the Sunnyside Nursing Home Flavy took a sip of her cold coffee and shut her eyes. With Ada in her room doing her Soduko and Joanna off down the town with her new fancy man she was at a loose end but sometimes, she thought, it was nice just to sit quietly in the garden and soak up some rays without their incessant chatter.
However her peace was about to be shattered as her radar could detect a soft and slow footfall growing ever closer. At first she thought she might keep her eyes shut and perhaps let loose a little snore to make her point more forcefully but her unerring intuition forced her eyes open. Lucy was reaching for a chair.
‘Well, love a duck,’ she grinned. ‘And to what do we owe the pleasure, sweetheart?’
Lucy said, ‘It’s Wednesday, I always come round on a Wednesday. Don’t you remember?’ She forced a smile but it was clearly a supreme effort.
Flavy caught the nuance instantly and frowned. ‘I never forgets,’ she lied. ‘Especially when it’s nice things like this. Now, hows about you tell your aunty Flavy all about it, eh?’
Lucy sat with her hands in her lap, her restless fingers teasing the hem of her jumper. Her usually mischievous eyes were flat and lifeless. ‘It’s a long story, aunty.’
Flavy sat up and crossed her arms. ‘I likes long stories, gal and I’s got all the time in the world, so whenever you wants to.’
‘I don’t know where to begin.’
Flavy reached over and patted her hand. ‘I always think it’s best to start at the beginning, sweetheart, don’t you?’
Lucy blurted out, ‘It’s Stephen – he . . . he . . .’
Flavy searched her face for the tell-tale traces and completed the sentence for her. ‘He hit you, didn’t he?’
Lucy nodded and took a deep breath.
‘You see I go to my aerobics class on Tuesday nights and he doesn’t like me doing things independently of him but he’s happy to let me go there because it’s all girls together. He doesn’t know that there are two men in the class as well.’ She smiled a little wistful smile. ‘Roland is quite sweet, we sometimes stop behind for a coffee afterwards and I enjoy his company. I can chat with him, naturally, like I used to be able to with Stephen.’ She suddenly looked up and with emphasis added, ‘There’s nothing more in it, you must understand, he’s not trying to hit on me or anything and I am married, so it really is just a coffee and pleasant company – my very own little secret.’
She dropped her head while the words sorted themselves out inside her head.
‘I got home last night and he made some comment about my leotard. He said it made me look fat. I said that the girls at aerobics didn’t think so. And then he said that’s because stupid girls always lie to each other. And then I got angry. I opened my mouth and the words just dropped out without any thought. I said that Roland doesn’t think I’m fat. By now he was standing nose to nose, right in my face and he said that men don’t go to aerobics classes and I said that it so happens that there are two in ours . . . and then he hit me. He slapped me really hard and I shouted out that if he ever did that again . . . and then he hit me again . . . so hard I fell back across the settee and onto the floor.’
Lucy was filling up and she was shaking her head in disbelief. Flavy put her hand on her arm for comfort. ‘And what did he do then sweetheart?’
‘He just stormed off to bed – but he didn’t go into our room, he went to the spare bed like he does sometimes if I snore.’
Flavy could see her eyes beginning to fill. ‘I went to bed myself but I couldn’t sleep, my head was full of all sorts of stuff. I was laying there so quietly and I heard him on the phone. He was chatting with someone all lovey-dovey, like, as if nothing had happened.’
Lucy paused to regain her composure before she could continue. ‘In the morning while he was in the shower I sneaked in and checked the recent calls on his mobile . . . he had called someone called Linda last night . . . and the night before and every night for weeks . . . and now I . . . Aunty, I don’t know what to do.’
Flavy said, sharply, ‘Well it’s obvious what you has to do, you have to leave that vicious, cheating bastard, right now, do you hear?’
‘But how can I? I haven’t worked since he got the promotion, everything I have is tied up with the house, which is in his name and so is the bank account – all of it, his and his alone. I have nowhere to go and no money to keep me. There’s nothing I can do.’
Flavy rose painfully to her feet. ‘Stay there, sweetheart. What you need right now is a nice cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit – always works for me.’
She was gone for ten minutes but when she returned she was followed by one of the nurses holding a tray.
Once the nurse had gone Flavy dunked a digestive and asked casually, ‘What time does he get back from work, sweetheart?’
‘Anything from 6 to half past, why?’
‘Well, tonight you ain’t gonna be there when he gets home.’
Lucy shook her head. ‘But I have to, he’ll need his dinner – I always make sure it’s on the table when he walks in.’
‘Not tonight, sweetheart, not tonight. Tonight he’s gonna have a long and meaningful chat with a Marriage Counsellor.’
‘But, Aunty, he’ll never listen to one of them.’
Flavy grinned. ‘Oh yes he will. My Tommy can be most persuasive – he will listen, I can assure you.’ Lucy thought for a moment. ‘But where will I stay? I’ve got nowhere to go.’
Flavy waved casually at the small brick extension to the Nursing Home. ‘That there’s a guest suite, lovey. It ain’t the Ritz but I’m sure it’ll be comfortable enough for one night.’
In strange surroundings and with the trauma ever at the forefront of her mind she never expected to sleep but instead she slept the sleep of the innocent and when she finally awoke the sun was shining through the crack in the curtains. She quickly dressed and made her way into the common room. Flavy was eating her breakfast. As she saw Lucy her face lit up and she gestured towards the nurse. ‘She says they’re not allowed to do food for guests but she does have a little bit of bacon left over so she’ll do you a butty provided you don’t tell no-one.’
Lucy hadn’t realised quite how hungry she was and accepted gracefully.
Flavy looked up and said, ‘That’s champion. Oh look, here comes our Tommy. Let’s see what news he’s got, eh?’
Tommy walked over to the table but he declined the offer of a chair. He looked somewhat sheepish and subdued. Flavy looked at his face and her heart sank. ‘Well? What happened, then, laddo?’
Tommy said, ‘It’s all done, aunty. I made it perfectly clear to him what would happen if he ever touched her again . . .’ He glanced down at Lucy and gave her an awkward smile.
Flavy pushed a little harder. ‘So she’s safe now, isn’t she, eh? She’s gonna be ok?’
Tommy shuffled on his feet. ‘She’ll be safe as houses from now on . . . she’ll be just fine . . . provided the police don’t dig up the vegetable plot . . .’