Southend U3A

Writing for Fun

March 2020

Trotters dance weekend aka Just Desserts - Lynn Gale

Under the giant gold glitter-ball, the dancers whirled around in dizzying circles across the polished wood floor. The flowing flowery frocks billowed out as men in bright silk shirts spun their partners to the sounds of the ‘50s played by the Trotters resident band.

Laine and Jerry strolled over to the table where their friends Nisa and Bob sat alongside Penny and Ward who was swigging from a large bottle of cider kept out of sight under the table from the patrolling Trotters staff collecting empty glasses.

‘I hope you have saved some of that for us!’ Laine glared straight at Ward, who everyone knew had a drinking problem.

Ward tipped back the bottle and polished off the last of the cider.

Burping, Ward gave her a lopsided grin as the effects of the alcohol kicked in.

‘All gone,’ he slurred, waving the empty bottle around.

‘Put that away, someone will see,’ his wife Penny hissed at him as he danced a jig around the table.

Laine sat down in a huff next to Penny.

‘Can’t you keep him under control?’ she snapped.

‘Sorry Laine,’ cowered Penny.

‘Let me buy you a drink,’ she said, embarrassed by her husband’s drunken behaviour.

‘I should think so too,’ sneered Laine, ‘and make it a double.’

Ward staggered to his feet. I’ll come with you.’ He lurched after his wife, much to her annoyance. Penny wanted to dance the night away but all Ward wanted to do was drink.

Gideon the compère came onto the stage to announce that Trotters prestigious dance competition was about to begin, any couples wishing to participate should take to the floor.

Laine grabbed Jerry’s arm just as he was about to take a slurp of his lager causing him to spill it down the front of him, he winced but followed meekly behind her.

The couples flocked on to the dance floor and eyed up the competition.

‘We’ve got this in the bag,’ Laine told Jerry, ‘just don’t let me down or else.’

Four guests were appointed judges and walked amongst the dancers, who were all trying to outdo each other with elaborate and intricate moves. A tap on the shoulder meant you had to exit the floor. When they approached Laine and Jerry, all it took was a look from Laine to make them back off and choose another pair to reject.

Finally, only Laine, Jerry and an older couple remained on the floor.

The other couple whose smooth, slick moves entranced the judges certainly looked the part, him with a white tux and gold bow-tie to match his wife’s floor-length gold lamé dress. She was also sporting a luxurious mane of long silver-blonde hair.

Jerry meanwhile was doing his best to hide the brown stain down the front of his shirt.

‘We now are down to the final two couples,’ Gideon informed the audience. ‘To determine the winners, the pair with the best interpretation of the next tune will be crowned winners. As the first bars of ‘Rock around the clock’ began, the finalists started to jive and gravitate towards the middle.

‘Trip them up as they pass,’ Laine ordered Jerry.

But the older couple were on to them and at the last minute they twisted out of the way of Jerry’s outstretched leg.

The woman looked back at Laine’s angry face and gave her a sly smirk. ‘Nice try,’ she mouthed.

Laine was determined to put them off. As they passed again she reached out and grabbed the woman’s hair, which to her surprise came away in her hand.

The woman fled the dance floor sobbing and holding her head. Her partner snatched the wig from Laine, giving her a furious look before chasing after his distraught wife.

‘Well, looks like we have our winners,’ Gideon announced, calling Laine and Jerry onto the stage to present them with a bottle of Trotters champagne and a glitter ball crown each. Laine took out her already prepared thank you speech, putting on her glasses she began. ‘I would just like to say…’

‘Give a big hand to our winners,’ Gideon interrupted her ushering them quickly off the stage.

‘I have an important announcement to make.’ He leaned into the microphone. ‘Several of our guests have come down with swine virus, and are now incapacitated.’ He looked around the hall and noted worryingly that since yesterday there were even more empty seats.

‘We must insist for your own safety you do not venture onto the beach for the duration of the weekend. We appreciate your understanding.’

Laine and Jerry had returned to the others, Jerry had removed his crown until Laine made him put it back on again, ‘If you’ve got it, flaunt it,’ she told him as she sashayed past an envious looking Penny.

‘I knew we would win, you are the best dancer.’ Jerry placed his arm around Laine’s shoulder.

‘Oh shut up.’ she shouted, pushing him off, ‘and don’t swing back on that chair, sit up straight.’

‘Sorry, my love.’ He quickly put the chair back on four legs. ‘Is there anything I can get you?’

‘Just sit there and be quiet.’ Laine took a large gulp of the double vodka Martini that Penny had brought over for her.

Ward was now ogling the Trotters champagne and kept on at Laine to open it. ‘To chelebrate your win,’ he slurred, knocking Penny off of her chair as he reached across to grab the bottle.

‘Right, you!’ Penny exploded, ‘It’s time you went to sleep it off.’ She helped him get to his feet. With Ward draping over her like a shawl, she led him away while he sang, ‘Blue is the colour’ in a loud off-key voice.

‘Thank goodness they’ve gone,’ Laine announced. ‘No class at all.’

Standing up she addressed the others.

‘And nobody tells Laine where she can’t go. In fact, I am going to the beach right now. Come on Jerry.’

‘But my sweet,’ Gideon said, ‘it’s closed off.’

‘Oh, you’re such a wimp.’ With that Laine flounced out of the hall.

Jerry reluctantly got up to follow her.

‘Sit down Jerry,’ Nisa sighed, ‘she’ll be back when she wants another drink.’

‘Oh no I can’t, she will make me suffer later.’ Jerry raced off to catch up with Laine.

He arrived at the beach to see Laine dancing in the moonlight like she was under a spell. ‘What on earth is she doing?’

Then he saw it, a gigantic pig was heading towards her, the ground shaking as it thundered in her direction its huge mouth wide open.

‘Watch out!’ Jerry shouted, then stood and watched in amazement as the giant pig swallowed Laine whole.

Arriving back at the table he sat down and finished off the rest of Laine’s vodka Martini.

‘Did you find Laine?’ Bob asked.

‘She’s gone down with swine virus.” He smiled swinging back on his chair.