Southend U3A

Writing for Fun

July 2019

The Dinner Party - Gerry Miller

Angela had started off totally bemused, she had of course realised that the lorry colliding with her cycling left no other alternatives. She was D E A D dead; there she was looking down at her remains, that head and neck could never be normal again. ‘Oh well,’ she sighed, obviously she was at some sort of staging post, ‘mm,’ she mused, here obviously was another stage of existence. Maybe she could save the planet or just be a ghost. Her name was called ‘Angela Geddes room 12’; almost as she thought it, she was suddenly there, no travel just a thought. A psychedelic silver shaded shape sat at the table and suddenly she was sitting opposite. ‘Sorry, Angela, we are having software programmes at the moment.’ The soft dulcet tones washed over her as this magnificent being explained the system. Her lifestyle had allowed her to skip stages ten down to six, with of course stage one earning the keys to the gates of Heaven. Who she would meet there she would not be told. Tasks would be set and the outcomes of which she would be advised accordingly. Of course there would be both upward and downward mobility, some lessons would have to be relearned.

No written info was given to her and Angela was astounded as details of her project arrived in her head, its focus would be to demonstrate her organisational, educational and negotiating skills. She must also demonstrate complete fiscal responsibility including full control of her cash flow. Angela had five days in earth time planning this dinner party: only four to be invited for dinner; it was to be elegant, meaningful yet not wasteful. The conditions had been clear she could invite anyone to this evening, past, present, living or dead, real or imaginary. The budget was ten thousand pounds, the provision of the venue, including use of its contents, were all free of charge; Angela was nervous. But sure enough as she confirmed details in her mind bills were paid. The venue had been a matter of great deliberation as indeed had been her choice of guests.

After a lot of dilly dallying Angela decided on Apsley House at the top of Pall Mall, she had been there as a tourist when alive. All guests needed to be impressed and the central location and quality of the venue could not fail to amaze and astound some guests. The meal planning took great care as she was sure only possibly one of her guests would be fazed by some of the foods choices, at least no one was vegetarian and all were used to good alcohol.

Angela felt that she should plan a major topic of conversation that all would be able to have a view on and feel free to express opinions on. She would of course open the subject over the cocktails when they first arrived and then each in order of birth would take turn between the courses, the final summing up would hopefully be hers with majority agreement carrying the conclusion. Her question was plain and simple ‘Did the guests believe that society had progressed from the end of the fifteenth century to the end of the twentieth century?’ Angela had deliberately left the topic wide so each guest could bring a variety of aspects to the table.

Punctuality was good and the three: Elizabeth, Arthur and Thomas arrived and first name introductions were made. Angela was the youngest and the order of presentation to the table was as they had arrived with Angela to be last. Thomas was very quick off the mark and Angela could see that he had a full understanding of Elizabeth and Arthur; he was most gracious and attentive of them both and seemingly in awe of Elizabeth. They retired to the table and the first course of oysters was appreciated by all. Elizabeth was very clear and decisive, her Public Speaking Skills taught to her by tutor were clearly in evidence, she was definite that society had progressed in some ways i.e. building on a ‘Golden Age of Prosperity’ handed over to the next government, improvement in health and transport and even the poor received an education. But religion was still a source of controversy and the power of parliament was being disabused and the erosion of the use of the monarchy was a disgrace. Elizabeth remembered an old quote and uttered, ‘Fear not, we are of the nature of the lion and cannot descend to the destruction of mice and such small beasts.’ She was indeed hot under the collar and seeing the main course coming through the doors she stoically handed over to Arthur, asking him how wars had changed. For example she listed the ‘ Spanish Armada, the Battle of Waterloo, and indeed the American Civil War and World Wars 1 and 2’; as she listed these, Angela noticed a smile pass across Elizabeth’s face. Was she indeed toying with the guests? She smiled at Elizabeth and nodded at the staff for more wine to be poured.

The beef wellington went down well as Angela heaved a sigh of relief; Arthur finished his meal and nodded to the Guests. His diatribe started, ‘As you know the Spanish Armada was won due to bad weather, not government control, the American Civil War was nothing to do with the British so we neither won or lost and that indeed both World Wars were us, the Great British Empire, coming to the rescue of the friends we had made since the previous rulers, both Victoria and her predecessors, alienated them. Serving Parliament twice it was immensely difficult to repress reforms put forward by his Tory Party. Arthur was clear (though having no understanding of whom the third guest was) civil disobedience was certainly not experienced by any of the guests. ‘Has society advanced enough to say as I did next to a battle lost, the greatest misery is a battle gained? Britain now appears good for nothing.’ Taking another gulp of his wine Arthur continued saying, ‘Elizabeth my dear you at least have public speaking skills, none of this shower appear to have the more important negotiating skills. Waterloo was certainly won on the playing fields of Eton so why educate the masses? Therefore in my opinion society has not progressed.’ His glass went down on the table with a bang. Angela nodded to the staff and the table was cleared in an instant.

Thomas had sat there quietly watching in complete amazement; he, of course, was the only guest who recognised both the other guests. As the discussion grew he did not know whether to laugh or cry. Speaking seriously and looking at the diners in turn his beautiful voice rang out clear as a bell, soft and gentle. ‘Is it not a fact that all men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible. To me an unnecessary action, or shot, or casualty, was not only waste but sin.’ He supped at his port as he waited for the cheeses to be served. ‘Society has advanced and indeed improved now the problem is to halt the deterioration.’ Thomas had the most piercing of blue eyes and Angela noticed that Elizabeth was entranced and gazed adoringly into his eyes. ‘Beware,’ said Thomas, ‘it was the old and wise, which meant tired and disappointed ... remember nine-tenths of tactics are certain and taught in books but the irrational tenth is like the kingfisher flashing across the pool and that is the test of generals.’ He looked markedly at Arthur as though knowing that his agreement would follow, as indeed it did the statesman like Arthur nodded.

Thomas pushed back his chair and bowed deeply to the guests. ‘Cling tight to your sense of humour. You will need it every day. Thank you my dearest hostess this has been the most worthwhile of evenings. You chose your guests wisely.’

Angela stood as chairs were pulled back as Elizabeth 1 and Arthur Duke of Wellington and together with Lawrence of Arabia the three bowed to her and together turning left the room. Angela heaved a sigh of relief, now to find out how the Board rated her delivery and meeting of the criteria. Hopefully she would now be able to move at least one step closer to heaven.