Southend U3A

Writing for Fun

October 2017

The Secret - Sue Barker

It's strange, she thought. When she'd been a little girl the promise of a secret was a wonderful thing. Her mother would whisper in her ear, 'Do you want to know a secret?' and it was always something really special. Until recently she'd always quite enjoyed the thought of a secret, be it a surprise present or a little snippet of gossip, there was something pleasurable to know something no-one else knew; being trusted with someone else's most important secret, that intimacy between the two people was very precious.

Early autumn had arrived but Mother Nature had given everyone a surprise, an extra day of late summer sun. Standing at the water's edge with the sun shimmering and dancing on the waves it should be a happy day. But it wasn't. Tday was as miserable as imaginable. A black heavy cloud hung around her head like a suffocating pillow, stifling and panic inducing. Oblivious to her, everyone else was splashing and having a wonderful time, but she was invisible to them. A lone figure, with sunken cheeks and mascara smudged round her eyes, red from where she'd rubbed them sore with worry. She stood staring into the distance distracted and detached from everything around her. The waves were lapping at her legs but she felt no sensation. She just felt the pulsing of the migraine throbbing behind her eyes the psychedelic colours flashing and spangling around the periphery of her eyes, the pressure making her feel sick. Sleepless nights always gave her a migraine. But it wasn't important, nothing was except for . . . the thought rolled away from her with the waves.

She had no-one to share her dark secret with; she didn't trust anyone enough. She couldn't give anyone that power over her – knowledge really was power. As the afternoon faded into evening, the beach became almost deserted, everyone going about their lives seemingly without a worry in the world. There was only the hardiest of souls paddling at the edge of the chilling sea. The seagulls cawed and called but it seemed to her that they were swooping and laughing, mocking and taunting her. They know, she thought, they know this terrible thing I've done.