Writing for Fun
September 2017
Letting Go - Jenni Bowers
As she began to fill the bag Julie slumped onto the bed, should she throw it? The black and white jumper with three quarter length sleeves, the one she’d been wearing when David walked out that awful day? She loved it but every time she had worn it since she’d felt sad, like that moment he’d told her about Rebecca was happening again. Yes – it should go.
The brown wool trousers which were so lovely and comfy in the snow but huge bell-bottoms – amazing how fashion had changed and maybe they’d come back just as soon as she parted with them? No, no, stop it – into the bag they went.
The transparent white T-shirt, she was sure it had been transparent when she tried it on but at home Oh My God – at 70 she just couldn’t bare all! ‘It still has the label which proved it had never been worn and I should offer it to my daughter’ she mused – but Gina was very trendy and would laugh at her mothers’ taste and refuse to wear ‘cast-offs’ anyway – so into the bag it went.
The heavy leather jacket – it’s such good quality she thought but David had just told her to ‘chuck out all his old rubbish’ he was starting a new life with Becky (who was half his age – silly old fool) now and didn’t need those Teddy boy rags. She held it close and shut her eyes, remembering the first time he asked her out, he was wearing it and she was a Mod, she’d looked so disdainfully at him, his horrible ‘brothel creeper’ shoes and awful tight jeans, but he was so handsome and had eventually swept her off her feet and to the church one lovely June day back in the 60’s. ‘Let go, let go’ her little sensible voice nagged, chuck it there – start again too – so she did.
Then came the christening dress, Luanna had looked so gorgeous in that almost 50 years ago now! How could that be? Where had the years gone and why had she not handed that lovely broderie anglaise dress down to her second daughter’s daughter? The lovely first grandchild Tuesday? ‘Oh yes’, she recalled the conversation with Luanna – ‘Oh my God, mother, surely you don’t expect me to put my new baby in that thing? It’s awful! Anyway Doug doesn’t believe in all that rubbish, neither do I really, I only go to church for your sake at Christmas and anyway this year we’ll be going up to his mum’s in Scotland so won’t even be in church then.’ Such a shock to hear her precious child speaking to her like that but over the years she got used to the derisory note in Luanna’s voice often during their conversations and realised how she’d changed with marriage to her Doug.
Well maybe some less well off couple would be happy to put their child in that lovely dress so in the bag it went, Julia wiped her eyes and sighed, life sure is a learning curve she decided.
Gradually she managed to fill two bags and let go of the past – memories with each item dumped – she would be moving into George’s lovely home in Bermuda in a month’s time, leaving the ‘old days’ in the bags.