Southend U3A

Writing for Fun

July 2016

Arriving - Sue Barker

Steph sat in the passenger seat, she didn’t know the name of the driver, she had never met her before.

The panic was building up, she was doing her best to contain it, but it wouldn’t let her. First the twitching in her legs began, she had no control over it, up, down, up, down like the slow beat of a drum, a drum leading the battle that was about to begin. Then the sweat trickling down her face; had the driver noticed? She hoped not and finally, cruellest of all, the breath she needed to live was being denied her as a full blown panic attack started. Her brain was screaming out just take a breath but she couldn’t. The driver wordlessly handed over a paper bag and she grabbed it in desperation unable to utter her thanks, breathing into the bag slowly began to help. Steph knew this was just the beginning, things were going to get worse, but surely it couldn’t be worse than she’d already been through.

Thinking back should she have realised what was going to happen? She blamed herself; James had seemed so ordinary. They had met five years ago thanks to an online dating site. Was it really only five years? It felt so much longer. The early days were happy and carefree. The last year had been catastrophic, first she’d discovered his vile secret then she’d told someone else and then the chain of events was taken out of her hands.

It happened just before the May bank holiday, they had been living together for 18 months, relatively content, just an ordinary couple. Steph had been tidying up so they could have a couple of days away, she found a box at the back of his wardrobe, the lid was just adrift from the box so she did the natural thing and picked it up, then curiosity got the better of her, just a little peek; what harm could it do?

Jesus Christ, she could not, would not believe her eyes. Out spilled all these photographs, not of James as she first thought, just a box full of gut wrenching, disgusting images of little children.

She couldn’t remember what happened next, her mind had hidden the memories away, thank God. She had three hours to get out of the flat, no way would she ever see James again, if she saw him she was certain she would attack him both verbally and physically. She could go to her mums but realised she was putting her mother in danger too.

Finally she contacted a social worker friend of hers; she must know what to do surely. The first thing she was advised to do was to check into a hotel and pay cash. This crime was far reaching and Steph was not safe. Then the social worker phoned a contact in the police and that’s when it all imploded.

Steph was breathing better now sitting outside the women’s refuge; maybe it would be her salvation, after all it was only for one night. This was the fourth move she’d made since the court date had been set. James always managed to find her, wherever she was.

She didn’t want to give evidence against James, but those defenceless little children needed someone to fight for them. She didn’t know if it would make much difference but she wasn’t giving in to the sickening threats from James and his friends.

So tomorrow was her day in court, let’s see if Chief Superintendant James Allen and his paedophile ring get the sentences they deserve.