Southend U3A

Writing for Fun

July 2015

The Spy Who Loved You - Gerry Miller

I want you to know, my children, that I have loved you so much but feel that now that I have been dead for some time it is time for you to have closure. I gave this testament of my life to a very dear friend of mine who would decide if or when this would be posted to you and I have trust in their judgement completely. Please respect my wishes and do not try and find out who this is and remember that you both have given me such happiness, now is the time for you to live fully in the world and all it has to offer is yours. The deception was mine and the responsibility was mine and mine alone.

I know that the very fact that you are now reading this that rumours have started and I want you to know what happened straight from me then you can continue to walk proud. I have lived my life completely and totally true to my beliefs and values. Already I can hear you saying to each other what on earth is Mum on about? So at last here it is and at least you won't be saying 'Mother's off her trolley'.

It all started at university; I was so disenchanted with that awful government and indeed with the disaster that was the Second World War. I know it was a victory for the West but what of the millions that died, what purpose did that all have? As it is obviously now being hinted I was a spy 'There it is, at last I have gone and said it!' Are you shocked and horrified or are you feeling let down? At least that I will never know. University was so good and I know that you have also both loved your times there. I was approached by M.I.5. It was such a surprise to me. I did not know then what they saw in me but I was flattered, the Cold War had been ongoing and a sense of danger was always mentioned in the press.

I think now that the quality they saw in me was that I was a bit of a livewire but plain and nondescript to look at. I looked inconsequential and was therefore eminently forgettable. I was such a positive socialiser; I had what they called 'winning ways' so people easily chatted to me. As my handler told me I had a gift for appearing 'Thick'. I am sure he meant that as a compliment! Anthony Blunt had been one of my tutors and he was responsible for searching out new talent and he recruited Burgess, Philby and Maclean. I was in the same year as these and they all came to be referred to as the Cambridge Five. I identified them as possible double agents but whilst not liking Blunt certainly did not pick him out!

When I left university I was employed by the Foreign Office and as you both know I travelled as a typist attached to the current foreign secretary. But the reality was that I was there as an agent, I have always had a talent for sensing what was not 'right'. Remember that over friendly smarmy neighbour we had that was suddenly arrested? That was down to a tip off from me. I found the work exciting and then of course I was able to act out on the flighty side of my nature. This of course enabled me to socialise fully (if you know what I mean!) with a number of dignitaries, of all nationalities. After all who could possibly suspect a flighty scatty little mouse of being anything other than a typist, albeit to a high ranking official?

Much information came my way, overheard phone calls, meetings being arranged and papers left lying around. They must have seen me as such a drab little mouse and I think that they felt power in having it away with the foreign secretary's typist. How ridiculous they all seemed to me. I felt that they deserved to be exposed they were so careless, negligent and stupid.

My biggest success was when I met an English couple on one of my visits to Berlin, they quickly befriended me. I assume they thought I was typing secrets, yet my day job was the most boring ever, mind you my typing speeds did improve! I passed on to my 'masters' that I felt that we could gain from this couple, my very keen sixth sense led to this very successful relationship. I then started my most risky role. I drip fed them information just snippets, a paragraph here and there allegedly out of top secret reports, parts of a conversation etc. etc. This was one of my most intriguing pieces of work as eventually we found out that they had been living on false passports for over 25 years!

They were arrested in their own cottage where I had actually stayed with them in Devon; I had managed to find their radio transmitter and must admit that was the closest I ever came to being discovered. 'Honestly girls I nearly wet my knickers' This couple had been passing information to the Russians about NATO operations. This was to become my last job, I really did not want to die young and boy was that close! I was happy and so proud that so much misinformation was passed on as truth.

The rest as they say is history; I met your dad fell in love and had you two. My life was complete but as I grew older various documents were regular being released under the thirty year rule. I knew that perhaps my involvement would become known to one and all. So if you want any further information then I have always kept my secret diaries and these can be found in Coutts Bank in Bond Street. Safety deposits box no XY357 you need only to take your passports and they will allow you and only you two to have access to the box and what was my previous life.

Between the two of you it could make an interesting story!

Live life to the full and don't look backwards.

All my love

Mum