Writing for Fun
Captured - Peter Rogers
April 2014
It was the year of 1807 and Brigadier Gerard of Napoleon's Grand Army found himself unhappily being transported across the Channel to England aboard one of His Majesty's troop ships. He had been captured whilst on a mission for the Emperor himself and now had only the prospect of a dungeon in an old English castle to look forward to.
However, the brigadier gradually managed to loosen one of the bars in his cell window by chipping away at the loose cement surrounding it with the heels of his cavalry boots. Having, after much tiresome effort, removed this bar, he was able to use it to help him remove another bar from its cement. The task of tying together strips from his bedding to make a long cord to descend the castle wall was then comparatively simple. He had meanwhile been saving small portions from his meagre meals, so that he had a small store of food to keep him going whilst he was on the run.
Luckily the British had allowed him to keep his greatcoat in his cold damp cell, so that meant he could keep his red French uniform concealed from English eyes.
Gerard reckoned he was about twenty miles from the coast at Dover and he was able to beg a lift from a carter on his way to the coastal town. Fortunately his English was good enough for the carter and he had, of course, already discarded his French hussar jacket.
After what seemed an endlessly uncomfortable journey, the Brigadier found himself in Dover, which was of course garrisoned by British troops – and sailors – and marines! How was he to return to his beloved France and regiment and the Emperor? Especially as he had no English money, or French, come to that!
As if in answer to his heartfelt p[lea, there came the sound of loud angry voices from the harbour. What's more these voices were speaking in French!
'Where is that lazy, good for nothing jackanapes? Doesn't he realise we must sail on the tide?' exclaimed an exasperated, red faced man, who, by his bearing, Gerard guessed must be the Captain.
His shame-faced underling was explaining the crew member's non –appearance. Apparently he had undertaken a tour of the town's taverns and was dead drunk somewhere, but no-one knew where. It turned out that the missing sailor was the cook on the Captain's fishing smack. It seemed the British tolerated French fishing boats entering their ports, even though they were at war with their nation.
Anyway it was not Gerard's job to puzzle over this peculiar state of affairs; it was his mission to rejoin his regiment. So it was that he offered his services as cook to the Captain who was overjoyed at the solution to his problem, especially when the one offering it was a fellow countryman!
Two weeks later, Brigadier Gerard was ushered into the Emperor's private apartments in Paris. Gerard could see that Napoleon was far from happy. Perhaps his lunch had not agreed with him.
'So, Brigadier, I gather you failed to find out the size of Wellington's forces at Jena,' he said, without any word of greeting.
'Well, no, Sire,' replied Gerard, 'As you know I was captured by . . .'
'Yes, yes, I know all that,' Napoleon interrupted impatiently. 'And having let yourself be captured, why did it take you so long to escape?'
Gerard was aghast! He thought his escape and avoidance of the patrols searching for him, not to mention his successful crossing of the Channel were nothing short of miraculous and he proceeded to inform his Emperor of these exploits.
Napoleon was silent for several moments, then he responded thus:
'Indeed, mon brave, you have accomplished miracles. Forgive mu outburst, I thought I had lost one of my loyalist officers. So, go now and rejoin your regiment, Colonel of Hussars Gerard.'
Gerard was naturally elated at this sudden promotion, but before he had quite made his departure from Bonaparte's suite, the Emperor's voice stopped him in mid-stride.
Do you know what my Marshals say about you? They say that Gerard has the thickest head and the stoutest heart in the entire Grand Army.'