November 2013
I just have to accept my husband has died, he didn't pass over, go away or pass under he died.
I am not stupid in working our matters of money, in fact I held all the banking papers. So how did the devil get to spend all our savings, leaving me practically destitute?
We apparently own a boat, membership in a golf club and gym and by rights a bookies, judging by the amount of betting slips in his drawer. I have never yearned for designer clothes or jewellery so haven't anything to sell for a quick buy on EBay.
I know a member of the yacht club and sought him out to glean details as to selling the boat. Well said Bernard, he was in a partnership with the club and in the syndicate. We agreed that if any of us passed away the boat should stay in the club for the use of all of the members. I questioned this with a solicitor and it cost me fifty quid to be told it was right.
Let's try the golf club I thought, at least I could flog the very substantially full golf bag and irons. There I met Jeremy, club secretary. He suggested in fact, why sell the clubs why not try golf myself. We have a great membership with good company and a full bar it would be foolish not to take advantage he said. I have kept pretty fit although my priority was walking, by the sea preferably, but maybe I should give it a try. The fees were paid for another six months anyway.
Now this guy was a pro, he didn't wish to buy Bills clubs but tried to sell me a lighter set for a weak woman. Heh! Not that weak and dumb, so I said no I would have a go with what was available. Of course there were lessons I could take but could it be so hard knocking a ball across a green into a hole. Well actually it was but I kidded my son, who plays a mean shot, to take me on the green early in the mornings. Gradually I improved till my par was an eagle but I still lost a fair amount of balls in the rough though.
Not to be outdone Jeremy, the charlatan suggested I buy a new ball, just out, that had an inbuilt mechanism that when travelling into the rough sent up a flag through a hole in the top which made it immediately visible. I wasn't really worried about losing balls, I had contact with a charity shop where I was supplied with balls at 10 pence a go. Eventually I thought I would go for gold and enter the competition for new members, unfortunately I had the rug pulled out from under me as I was doing really well, on the day that the thunderstorm hit.
I didn't wish to stop as it may spoil the good run I was having, so rested up in the worst of the rain under the big old oak tree.
Now I cannot really say it was the old man getting back at me for having fun without him, but this bloody great rod of electricity came and hit the top of the tree. My new hairstyle stood out like Medusa's snakes and my body felt it was drilling down into the earth.
When I reached the pearly gates there was old Jim, Bert, Sid, and all the other male relations who had gone ahead, all making jokes and jibes and I thought no way. So I filled in an application to go to the warmer place, or as they politely put it, I passed over to the other side. Not bad though I have to say, drinks all round and Bingo on Saturday.