March 2013
She watched him from the kitchen window, David, her husband of many years had disappeared into the shed. What on earth was he up to now she wondered and watched as a couple of minutes later he emerged with his wellie boots on? Since they had moved to this home just over three months ago, he had taken to making a daily tour of the gardens, he wanted to reinvent the garden but did not want Jenny to make any hasty designs. Many a day he dragged her round the garden too, today she had said there were other things to do.
David set off around the perimeter and within a few minutes she could hear him through the part open window muttering and swearing, she laughed to herself and wondered what on earth was happening now. She sneaked a peek and there he was coming out of the shed with a couple of pieces of wood and a hammer. He disappeared out of sight and banging commenced, she could tell he was cross.
David returned to the kitchen in response to her call that coffee was ready. In he came blustering and muttering. Someone had broken through at the side fence and had tried to gain entrance. David had fixed it but if it happened again he would have to call the police. This strong and well built man did fuss so and reminded her again to always check the security lights and alarms. He said that the bodge job would do, as they would need new fencing once spring was here and before they started to work properly on the garden.
Next day David went out again and this time further along found a bigger hole, Jenny could hear him cursing and swearing again, so went out this time to see what all the fuss was about. And there sure enough was a broken panel of the fence, most of it low down but even the top strut had fallen off this time where it had obviously been rotting. David was furious and said that this was criminal damage and something would have to be done.
Jenny was almost bent double with laughter; she could see that her response was only making David angrier. At last she managed to explain that the damage was caused by either a badger or a fox. She pointed out the claw marks in the earth around the damage and at last David calmed himself down and understood. Mind you Jenny was still laughing at the thought of a fox or badger in the dock for criminal damage. Her husband looked at her and said that this was not the last of the matter. Badger or fox it did not matter to him war was now declared and nature or not, he and the animals were rivals and this was his territory.
Over the next few weeks the holes and tunnels were filled in and repaired, but everything he tried was temporary. Then one evening as David repaired the fence Jenny called him quietly to come in, and she showed him the fox sitting under the garden swing watching David trying to repair the fence. The fox had decided that it was also his territory. Sometimes the damage was new and on other occasions the fox had returned and decimated a previous repair. It was clear to David that it was either the fox, or him. He was a human being with superior intelligence and he was defiantly going to win. The rivalry was intense.
For Jenny the situation just became more and more humorous, various articles went missing from the home, including a load of knitting needles (to act as stakes) a clothes airer that David was going to repair but placed carefully stretched along the inside of the fence. The clothes airer the animal appeared to weave through managing to break more of the bars. He then visited the garden centre and bought a long roll of garden edging made of metal. The fox managed to bend and dig under this and the stakes were somehow dug out, David felt that he was running out of options.
Jenny had forbidden him to use any sort of poison stating clearly they had moved to the country to be closer to nature and now they had what they wanted. David did not find this situation the least bit amusing and told her it would be sorted by the time she came back from a few days with her sister. Jenny left still very amused by the situation, maybe he was not more intelligent than the fox. David waved her off and then went indoors to make some phone calls.
A few days later he put the kettle on as he heard Jenny's car turn into the driveway, now he could show her who was boss. David took Jenny round the garden and she admired the lovely new fence. As they sat and had tea, Dave said that he had two barge boards placed into the boundary and then the six-foot panels. On top of these he had placed curved half panels, the fence looked wonderful and he had even managed to spray paint it.
Jenny finished her tea and took the mugs to the sink and then she started to laugh, she was almost bent double and could not speak. She waved to David to come and look and there again was the fox curled up in the sunshine under the garden swing. David went rushing out picking up the garden broom, the fox looked at him coming and nonchalantly and stretched. He ran to the corner of the garden and disappeared, suddenly he reappeared on the fence and stepping over and balancing carefully along the far side of the trellis, he then jumped down and disappeared. No doubt to return another day.