Southend U3A

The Joker - Ann Southwood

June 2011

'Babs are you going out tonight?'

Billy Arthur Banks put the book down he had been trying to read sighed and said, 'What poor girl are you going to bore with your intellectually scintillating wit tonight then?'

'You wouldn't believe what a cracker she is.' said his brother Keith, 'I think she is the one.'

'What," rejoined Billy, 'just like all the rest have been.'

'Oh, come on Babs, give me a break. If you could raise your head long enough out of your books to look around you might find someone you fancy. It's about time you got a life. It's all very well this studying lark but you're missing out, mate.' Keith stood in front of the mirror giving his face the once over, 'Well, are you going out? Only I planned a cosy night in with a take-away, a bottle of plonk and you never know with a bit of luck . . .'

'Oh, alright, no need to spell it out.' said Billy, 'I'll make myself scarce until 11.30 as I have a meeting at 9 in the morning. Have fun.'

Billy walked out into the cooling night air, pondering as he often did lately how different they were and always had been. Keith was a gregarious happy go lucky guy, tall, broad shouldered and endowed with muscles he had never had to exercise to get, whereas Billy, two years younger, was at least six inches shorter and thin. When their mother had married Cliff two years after their father had died they decided it was time to leave and make their own way in life. But they had stayed together, buying a two bedroom flat with the money left to them in their fathers will. Billy was the house proud one who tidied up after his brother who seemed to create mess just by walking in the door.

Billy had been the fall guy when they were growing up; Keith calling him Babs for a start, much to their mothers chagrin and being the butt of all his jokes; like the time Keith had replaced Billy's five page profound essay on the American Civil War, which had taken him hours to research and write, with plain paper, so when it came to handing the homework in he had nothing to show Mr Smart, the History teacher. Mr Smart had not listened to his explanation and given him an hours detention. Or when they were even younger Keith had told him it was ok to eat worms, after all birds did; so Billy had picked one up and touched it to his lips, when a scream from his mother stopped him from swallowing it. All his protestations that Keith had told him to fell on deaf ears. One time, getting ready for school he struggled to get his trousers on, his feet would not come out of the bottom. Keith, looking on was doubled up with laughter and Billy realised his brother had pinned the hems together. Keith was not cruel, just playful, Ha!

There had never been a shortage of girls hanging around hoping to catch Keith's eye and he had his pick of the prettier ones. Even now he seemed to have a coterie of females parading in and out of his life, Billy however was not that interested in the pursuit of the female form, neither was he gay, he just hadn't had his bell rung by those his brother favoured. Keith had left school at sixteen and was now manager of a car sales showroom often coming home in a different car every night, which of course attracted the girls even more. Billy had stayed on in the sixth form and went into banking, working in the city and pulling in a lucrative wage as well as the huge bonuses given with such abandon every year.

One day Billy was called in to the C.E.O's office, 'William how would you like to go to Japan for three months and work in our branch there?'

'Well I'm flattered of course and, yes, I would like the opportunity." Like it? I'd love it! thought Billy, his stomach churning with excitement, and that night couldn't wait to get home to tell Keith. He searched frantically for his passport which he hadn't used for about six years since they had gone to Spain on holiday.

Although he had enjoyed it, especially with the company of his brother, and there was never a dull moment, he couldn't help wishing he had stayed faithful to the Lake District where he could walk, sail, climb, be solitary and just admire the views. Fortunately he found the passport and it was still in date. So with great trepidation he flew off to a different world.

He was greeted with kindness and such hospitality he had never encountered before and he fell in love. Not just with the country but with Natalie Sato (her mother had been a fan of Natalie Wood) She was beautiful, her hair a blue/black waterfall of silk and she had been appointed to show him round, which she did with grace and humour. Out of work they were together every spare moment; in work respectful, circumspect and hard working. The three months turned into six and when he eventually returned home it was with Natalie as his pregnant wife.

Keith also had a surprise up his sleeve because there in the apartment was a strange and very pregnant woman. 'Hello, I hope you don't mind me being here, but Keith had an important meeting with a company that want to lease twelve of his cars and he had to be there to seal the deal. By the way I'm Shelley, Keith's wife.'

Well, the Joker had certainly shown his hand to the two very different brothers who it transpired were not that different after all.