April 2011
Dear Sir,
I read with interest the article in last week's magazine, about 'things your mother used to say.' I noted that the author was asking for similar phrases. My favourite one my mother used to say was 'Shift your trankelments' meaning move your bits and pieces off the table.
If we chatted too much, she'd say, 'You'd talk the hind legs off a donkey', or, 'Shut your mouth and eat your tea' - not easy - or, 'You'd laugh to see a puddding roll.'
When we had, 'Ants in our pants' she'd say, 'You're in and out like a dog's hind leg', 'You're in and out like a fart in a colander' or, 'Up and down like a whore's drawers'. When we ate too much we were always told, 'Your eyes are bigger than your belly.' Which never seemed to make any sense to me.
When we dawdled in the morning she'd say, 'This won't buy the baby a new frock', or sometimes, 'Look, a street full of sailors and not a girl dressed'.
She always insisted there are three sorts of sins, little ones, bigger ones, and taking your shoes off without untying the laces. Being a bit of a dreamer I was always being told 'I'd be late for my own funeral', or, 'I'd forget my head if it was loose.'
If we asked how old she was, it was always, 'I'm as old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth.'
Many a stuck up neighbour was, 'Fur coat and no drawers' or, 'She's no better than she ought to be.' Often they had 'Got their foot caught in the sheets' - it took me a while to get that one.
Well, as my mum used to say, 'That's yer lot. TTFN.'
Yours sincerely
M Avis.