Southend U3A

Me - Annie Moss

May 2010

In reality I don’t think there is a ME. We are all made up of genetics, background, religion, education and last, but not least, our environment.

I was born into a poor, religious family who originated from Poland and didn’t find it easy to assimilate. Not because the indigenous people of this country were not willing to include them, but because they themselves were unable to enter into the spirit of things and mostly lived in a kind of ghetto, very similar to some of the immigrants of today.

I meandered through my teens and very early twenties, my head mostly in the clouds, but was married at twenty three, all the girls were doing it - no living together in those days - besides, coming from an extremely religious background, no makeup, no wearing trousers and definitely no boys - the only alternative was to get married.

Having my baby at the age of twenty five was a ‘wake-up’ call, no more away with the fairies. For the next eighteen years there was certainly no ‘ME.’ He was the pivot of my existence – all my resources, time, attention was centred on him until he went to Uni - the first in our family to do so. True, he spent four years studying to be a P.E. Master - but he is good at his job and doing what he really loves.

At Uni he met a girl not of our religion - but they married and have been for twenty five years now. I had long ago abandoned religion, although I still think there might be something or someone up there looking after me, because I have been so lucky throughout my life in so many ways. Even so, it was a little difficult for me to come to grips with the fact that my son had fallen in love with a girl not of the faith and I had to come to terms with the situation by sublimating ME.

l had no education to speak of really, but I did go to night school to learn shorthand and typing which, as I enjoyed doing it, I picked up quite well, my only achievement really, which came in handy when I was bringing my child up as, in the 60s-80s secretaries were at a premium.

Whilst temping at a big company, I had to sort the post and came across an invoice from a staff bureau. This gave me the idea of starting one of my own although I had no money. My brother had a bit of capital though and between us we opened an office in Stoke Newington and after a year or so another in Dalston. These were exciting, interesting and brilliant years where ME was at my best. I could use my own initiative, commonsense, office experience, and last, but not least, my ability to size people up quite quickly, essential when trying to place them in a suitable post. Unfortunately, Thatcher’s recession brought this venture to an end and the Job Centres took over the work of all the Staff Bureaux.

As to genetics; I only have to look in the mirror and I can see my father’s mother staring back at me. I am so like her it’s uncanny, and my granddaughter is very much like me, both in looks and nature - and so ME carries on, pity I won’t be around to see ME in perpetuity! I think the only way I am truly ME is my optimism: I never see the cloud - only the silver lining.